Seventeen Weeks 2.0

Holy.Cow. I feel PREGNANT this week. I think I've been living mostly in denial and misery nausea land bc until now I keep forgetting I'm pregnant. NOT ANYMORE!

I think we are finally on the mend from the plague that hit us for most of the month of February. I truly was starting to lose my mind from being so ill and cooped up so thank the Lord for that.

The weather has been sunny (but windy! )and we have been spending every waking moment outside. Sam loves it and throws the biggest fit every day when I make him come inside.

I had my 16 week appointment on Tuesday and it was mostly uneventful. Dr. Bunjer (the np) found baby's heartbeat with the doppler and, as always, that was a sweet and wonderful sound. Baby's heart rate was 155 bpm which is right where Sam's always was so my boy vibes got a little boost. My blood pressure was a great 109/70 but my heart rate was fast again...117 this time which I am pretty sure is just odd for me. When I mentioned it, Dr. said it wasn't anything to worry about necessarily unless I was feeling faint or heart pounding all the time. I have felt both of those things at least weekly so I am supposed to keep a log of my resting heart rate three times a day until my next appointment.

Other than that, everything looked fine. I went ahead and got the quad screen done to test for genetic and neural tube abnormalities. The outcome wouldn't change anything for me except I'd feel more prepared to deal with the possibility of having a special needs child. I am a planner. I should have results by now but the Dr said no news is good news so I'm hoping we are in the clear there. I do truly love Kaiser for one reason only: they have specially trained phlebotomists in a lab just to draw your blood. I got poked and bruised and abused so many times last pregnancy and so far this time, both sticks I've had were successful (and gentle) on the first try and they don't complain about my veins. AMAZING!

I am supposed to drink a protein shake every day to try to get my weight up. I'm so thin that the Dr could tell me exactly what was the baby's head and butt through my belly. so cool! She also said she could feel baby moving around even though I couldn't at that point. ..but just a few days later and WHOAAA baby movement!

Symptoms: the motherload this week! Heartburn, horrible hip and leg pain, fullness after just a few bites of food, my insides feel pushed around already!, crazy sense of smell, ITCHY BOOBS (no real milk there anymore though I can get a drop if I squeeze)  and some lower abdominal aches and pains I need a heating pad! Most fun of all is the blacking out in public places. it's happened four times now where I either had to quickly bail into fresh air or literally sit on the floor of whatever store lm in until it passes. :(
Weight: 133 this week so thankfully already up a little from hell week.
Sleep: ugh. insomnia has struck big time. Sam is also being ridiculous this week. zzzz
Food Cravings: really nothing but I do have a little appetite back. I'm still loving blue Gatorade and salty French fries.
Best Moment this week: hearing my sweet baby's heartbeat galloping away and...
Movement: yes! I went from random flutters to full on stomach dropping flips. it feels like I'm on a roller coaster sometimes. so strange! I can feel baby from the outside too when I'm laying down.
Labor signs: nope
Gender: three more weeks til we find out!
Belly button: getting flatter
What do I miss: being able to button ny pants! it's finally time to suck it up and go buy some maternity pants
What am I looking forward to: our anatomy scan. scheduled for st. Patrick's day! that's significant bc Sam is my little lucky charm baby. It seems so special to me.
Milestones: Feeling my first baby flips from the inside and out!

Sixteen Weeks 2.0

After recovering from our awful flu bug, we all were lucky enough to then be immediately stricken with a devil stomach virus from hell! What kind of luck is that?! I've been feeling very sorry for myself this week.

It all started on last Friday when Sam suddenly started screaming and acting inconsolable. He then vomited all over me and seemed back to his happy self. Pregnant me had to try hard not to vomit myself. At the time, I thought it was mucus related. But on Monday, I started having diarrhea. ..and that didn't stop until Friday! I was miserable and so over not being able to go anywhere for fear of when my bowels would betray me. Right when  I was starting to feel better, we had another terrifying and horrific vomit incident with Sam on Friday night.

Josh and I spent our Valentine's Day being soaked in and mopping up what seemed like gallons of puke. it was so very romantic. Sam slept through the night and woke up perfectly fine so God help us, I THINK it is FINALLY over. PLEASE, please be over.

I actually forgot I was pregnant the last week bc I was so distracted by all the suckage going on around me.  I am so ready for spring a n d to just throw the windows open and air out this sick house. I'm cooped up, grumpy and SO OVER the constant illness. I guess that's life with a kid?

Symptoms: Besides the awful stomach bug symptoms I really haven't noticed anything new this week.
Weight: I'm all the way down to 131. :( I couldn't hold any nutrients IN for a week and still my aversions are going strong. I know this will be an issue at my appointment on Tuesday.
Sleep: We have slept the week away. I've actually slept better this week than in a long time bc Sam had been sleeping well due to being sick. go figure.
Food Cravings: blah. the only thing I could tolerate this week was rotisserie chicken breast and baked potatoes. both with lots of salt (my electrolytes are obviously off) oh and Blue Gatorade
Best Moment this week: I got nothing.
Movement: Embarrassing enough, I only really feel baby after sexy time. Sorry for disturbing you in there, baby!
Labor signs: nope
Gender: Four more weeks til we find out!
Belly button: Back in now that I've lost do much weight
What do I miss: feeling healthy. not worrying whether any of us are going.to relapse
What am I looking forward to: My appointment on Tuesday
Milestones: uh...first stomach virus with Sam. I could've skipped that one. I swear I still smell puke.
Weekly Wisdom: Don't breathe deeply when holding your vomiting child. Stay calm. Don't give in to the gag reflex. blahhh.  next week will be better, right? !

Fifteen Weeks 2.0

Well, this has been the week from hell. Josh was kind enough to share his illness with Sam and I. We have basically been worthless, sad bums all week. Now that we are finally starting to emerge from the depths of misery, I'm almost positive that it was the flu. It lasts a good week and a half: fever, sore throat, exhaustion, cough, horrendous headache, tons of drainage and it ends with a few days of sneezing nonstop and nose running like a faucet.

The worst part for me has been not being able to take anything that really helps. I haven't event able to shake the horrible sinus headache for days and Tylenol just doesn't touch it.

We reached a super awesome milestone last night.  Sam threw up on me for the first time. Let me just say, I'm not great with puke in general but when it's your own baby, you just want to make sure they're okay. I didn't even care until the smell hit me. Then the pregnancy gag reflex tried to betray me. Poor baby. I think all his drainage upset his tummy and made him choke bc he just threw up all snot and thankfully not the dinner he'd eaten earlier. :p

Its funny how this time, I have no time or energy to stress about every little pregnancy thing. I don't even know what "fruit" baby is this week! gasp!

Our weaning journey came to an abrupt end with this illness. Meh. We will figure it out eventually.

Symptoms: Besides the flu symptoms this week, I've really only noticed some heartburn and an increasing urge to pee every five seconds.
Weight: Hanging in at 135. Sigh.
Sleep: Well this week, pure exhaustion has won out for all of us. Sam and I have slept many days away.
Food Cravings: Buttered toast and orange juice. That's all I want.
Best Moment this week: uhh...
Movement: I got some definite flutters and wiggles the other night but nothing regular yet.
Labor signs: no
Gender: ?
Belly button: starting to poke out at the top a little
What do I miss: cold medicine!
What am I looking forward to: next weeks appointment. feeling better!
Milestones: um, being puked on? oh wait. that doesn't count. Nothing really new this week
Weekly Wisdom: don't just swig benadryl from the bottle unless you want to be dead to the world. lol. Josh wasn't very pleased with me

Fourteen Weeks 2.0

I have FINALLY been feeling much better. There are daily bouts of nausea and not much appetite still but I feel like a new woman.

I actually stopped taking my Zofran daily in hopes of moving things along digestively speaking and though the nausea hits, it has been bearable with some deep breathing and sips of cold water.

Unfortunately, Josh brought home a cold this week so we've all been grumpy with sore throats and headaches. The worst part for me is the drainage and scratchy throat.  Blah. Hopefully it vacates the premises soon.

We have made big progress on the weaning front. Sam was down to just before naps and at bedtime which I was willing to sustain for awhile. Then suddenly, he decided he had to be attached to my boob all night. Pregnancy irritability plus the grating feeling of constant sucking on an already sore nipple pushed me off the deep end. Quite abruptly the other night, I got fed up and cut him off. Four hours of screaming later, he was sleeping.  I determined to wean him quickly for my sanity and he's responded better than I imagined.  He drank lots of milk from a sippy yesterday and ended up sleeping through the night last night! I almost died of shock.

I cried for HOURS yesterday over the thought of weaning Sam.  Its all a healthy part of growing up. Its been 21 beautiful months of bonding with my baby and giving him the best possible nutrition. I needed to take a step back and realize I was just being a martyr for the cause and no longer enjoying it and it was just no longer WORKING for us at night. It's time for both of us to let go of nursing as a crutch. So I will continue not offering during the day, refusing to nurse him during the night and working with him in getting to sleep without nursing and hopefully we will be done easily and happily soon.

Symptoms: nausea, back pain, random RLP and heartburn!
Weight: 135. I wonder if I'll ever gain any weight!
Sleep: Hopefully much better soon as we wean Sam
Food Cravings: not really feeling much of anything this week except buttered toast. I thought muddy buddies sounded good one day so I made them and was immediately disgusted by them. Sam and Josh were happy to take over for me.
Best Moment this week: Sam sleeping through the night for the first time since he was like two months old! Too bad I kept waking up to check on him!
Movement: I really haven't felt much from this baby for a few weeks. every now and then I'll think I feel something but not often. I hate this stage of pregnancy where you don't know if baby is okay in there without the big kicks and thumps!
Labor signs: nope
Gender: no idea yet
Belly button: the top of my belly button sticks out a little now
What do I miss: being able to have a glass of wine or margarita.
What am I looking forward to: Our next appointment in two weeks. I want to make sure everything looks good still!
Milestones: Getting closer to weaning, first maternity pants bought!
Weekly Wisdom: if it sounds good, eat it. who knows when you'll want to eat something again.

Thirteen Weeks 2.0

Just like that, the first trimester is over! I am still feeling pretty nauseated and gaggy most days but the boost in my energy has been incredible! I feel like catching up for lost time so most mornings I'm waiting for Sam to wake up so we can go,go,go! The weather has been so nice and sunny too which may be contributing to my funk coming to an end.

Our 12 week appointment on Tuesday was great! I went alone while Josh was on Sam duty. I'm a little bummed he missed the ultrasound as this baby was bouncing all over like a ping pong ball! Everything looked perfect, baby had a heart rate of 180! That's way higher than Sam's ever was so I'm getting creeping vibes that this might indeed be a little girl in there.

I have been trying to wean Sam down to three times a day for nursing. I know there's not much milk there as he's suddenly become a voracious eater and he frequently asks for sippies of milk (unheard of before now) . it makes me glad to know that obviously until now, my body was providing all he needed! Its amazing what we were designed to do. I am truly ready to wean. I would like some recovery time before starting over. I just want to end it on the sweet note that it's been for us all along. I don't want Sam to feel jealousy or sadness that I'm giving someone else his source of comfort.

i have been having some ridiculously scary and MESSED up dreams. Which really sucks bc when im actually sleeping, i wake up in a panic bc of these crazy dreams. My nost recent one involved spiders being implanted into my skin as punishment for catching a government protected fish. ..uhhh...Wtf? 

Symptoms: evening nausea and gagging, headaches, CRANKINESS. Annnd the ever so lovely constipation and hemi problem.
Weight: hanging in at 135.5
Sleep: worse than ever. insomnia, pee breaks, Sam sleeping like shit. fun.
Food Cravings: cherry and lemon sour twizzlers !
Best Moment this week: getting to see our little jellybean
Movement: I haven't felt much in a week or so but I do get random, "omg I'm gonna pee my pants" moments where the baby is either bouncing or resting on my bladder
Labor signs: nope
Gender: I'm maybe swinging towards girl bc I'm breaking out, cranky and I've been so sick. plus the heart rate
Belly button: in for now
What do I miss: margaritas to take the edge off my moodiness. (that makes me sound like an alcoholic)
What am I looking forward to: more energy
Milestones: end of first tri!

Twelve Weeks 2.0

Uggggghhhhh. I did it again. I jinxed myself. Right when I thought I was beginning to feel better...NOPE...pregnancy said, "haha just kidding! " and knocked me back on my ass.

Its a different kind of misery and more sporadic. I am still unsure whether it's worse than before or just equally sucky. For the past three nights, i was convinced i was coming down with a stomach bug. Hot flashes, intense waves of nausea that had me running to the bathroom and dry heaving but not being able to actually puke...followed by the miserable whole body trembles and shakes. ugg.  I always feel much better the next morning so im really not sure whats going on. If i was actually sick, something wouldve happened by now...right? !?!

In less whiny news, Sam has been adorable and hilarious this week. Toddlerhood has it's downfalls for sure but I am just so smitten with this little PERSON that my baby has become. It goes so fast. I am trying to unplug and really drink in my time with him. Our time together is limited before someone new comes along and I want to cherish my only baby for right now as much as I can.

I am feeling extremely emotional lately and also very noticeably pregnant. I'm so ready for our secret to be OUT!

Symptoms: new this week are hot flashes, dizziness, headaches and lower back pain. Also, feeling hungry then having to stop eating bc I start feeling immediately like I'm going to vom. fun!
Weight: back down to 134.5-135.5 this week. its been a rough one.
Sleep: I hate this question. shitty. thanks for reminding me.
Food Cravings: I had my first REAL, "I have to go get this right now or I'll die" craving two days in a row this week. del taco bean and cheese burrito with green chile sauce. amazing.
Best Moment this week: Probably fulfilling my first craving for REAL food that isn't bland and starchy.
Movement: I swear I'm still feeling sporadic little hums and buzzes
Labor signs: nope
What do I miss: Feeling normal. buttoning my pants.
What am I looking forward to: our appointment on Tuesday and buying some maternity pants. my belly is so out there that the only comfy thing I own are leggings!
Milestones: first craving
Weekly Wisdom: Try t eat even if you feel awful. it'll only get worse if you don't.

Eleven Weeks 2.0

I am hoping that last week was the apex of my misery.  This week, while difficult at times has seemed just the teensiest bit more bearable. I've had a bit of appetite return and being able to eat a little more has made a huge difference in my energy levels.

Josh and I are in this amazing place right now. I don't really know if it's hormones or the romantic notion of a new baby joining us or what, but it's been sweet. No stress, just lots of QT and flirting like the old days. Sam will probably be grossed out by us when he's older. ;)

Some days I look pregnant and others, not at all. My bloat usually disappears at night so in the morning I look back to my regular skinny self. However, I can tell that my uterus is lifting up bc my belly looks higher this week.

Sam has had a rough week. So much clinging and crying, nursing and not sleeping. My boobs are killing me. Just this morning though, I peeked inside his mouth and his gums are shredded and bloody back where the two year molars are just peeking out. Poor baby. I HATE teething. At least after these, he's done. Let's pray Cashew has an easier time than poor Sam.

Symptoms: more of the same. Slightly less nausea but still lots of gagging especially on an empty stomach. I've started getting horrible RLP too which I remember vividly from Sam. Ouch!
Weight: I'm back at square one. 136.
Sleep: Horrible but mostly bc of Sam. I think besides getting up to pee, I'd sleep like the dead if my child would let me. One day this week, I fell asleep while playing on the floor with Sam! Poor kid. He woke me up by bashing me in the face with a bag of marshmallows.
Food Cravings: salt and vinegar potato chips and GREEN APPLE lifesavers. Wtf. I hate apple candy but when I feel super gaggy and nauseated, they help so much.
Best Moment this week: I'd say the reconnection with Josh
Movement: yep, still feeling sporadic wiggles
Labor signs: nope
Gender: don't know!
Belly button: in
What do I miss: ibuprofen! I've started getting some headaches and Tylenol just doesn't cut it
What am I looking forward to: my next appointment, next Monday
Milestones:..none that I can think of
Weekly Wisdom: too many salt and vinegar chips will tear your mouth up!