Nine Weeks 2.0

We had our first baby appointment on Thursday. I was really nervous because I have Kaiser insurance this time and I've not been impressed with the system for Sam at all. Turns out those fears weren't necessary as the np I saw is awesome. Kaiser and their infuriating system still sucks but at least she was nice (after waiting almost an hour after my appointment was due to start grumble grumble)

Josh went with me and had to tell me to woosah a few times. I am not a patient person. And sitting naked on a doctor's table for thirty minutes with a full bladder (they don't take a urine sample til you go down to the lab after) was not exactly fun for me.

I find myself not nervous about the pregnancy as I know what to expect. I wasn't looking forward to the "dildo cam" ultrasound I knew i'd be getting, for example. Josh had forgotten about that comical experience the first time around.

We talked a lot with Jessica, my np, and she answered all my questions and assured me that a high risk doctor would be consulted about my placenta and umbilical cord abnormalities that I had with Sam. That made me feel a lot less anxious for sure. Pretty soon it was time for my exam. Everything looked great and we got a great glimpse at our little gummy bear baby. Baby was measuring exactly 8w3d, which was my exact guess as to when we had conceived. That means our due date is officially 8/4/14. Baby's heart rate was a strong 173 non which was a beautiful sight and sound

I think ipopped this week for sure! Of course im pretty bloaty but I really think my poor abs are just busted from separating last time so they cant hold back my growing uterus. 

Symptoms: I have been feeling much MUCH worse this week as far as nausea and exhaustion. I have a backwards baby though and feel okay all day and miserable at night.
Weight: Still hanging in at 134.5-135, which is- 2 from prepreg weight, you wouldn't know it by my new belly though! 
Sleep: sucky. Between Sam and my insomnia and needing to pee, I just am not sleeping well at all.
Food Cravings: Salty bland things like baked potatoes and French fries. Super healthy! Also, coke. It seems to settle my stomach.
Best Moment this week: getting to see and hear our little baby in there. Made it so much more real.
Movement: None yet but I hope soon!
Labor signs: nope
Gender: I still keep calling this baby a boy on accident or talking about the baby and Sam as,  "the boys" . Its weird and I'll feel bad if it ends up being a girl but I just have a feeling.
Belly button: in for good.
What do I miss: sleep!
What am I looking forward to: as sad as it sounds,  I am hoping my milk slowly dries up so Sam weans himself sooner rather than later. Nursing him now is painful and we're not sleeping well bc he wants to nurse all night (maybe bc my milk is sparse? ) I don't know. It would just be nice to have a break before I start all over.
Milestones: First appointment, heard and saw the heartbeat!
Weekly Wisdom: I really have nothing this week. I'm feeling cranky and emotional o and like I ruined my first baby and I have no idea how I'm going to deal with him and all his demands plus a newborn. Blahh. Overwhelmed.

Eight Weeks 2.0

This time of year is hectic for us. Four separate family celebrations all to attend, plus trying to make time for our own little family traditions. I'm stressed just thinking about it. Technically I'm writing this at 8w3d and it is CHRISTMAS!

All the chaos aside, we had a great time celebrating with our families. Despite feeling so sick and exhausted, I tried to make the best of the situation. Sam kept me plenty busy at the in-laws', he either gets shy and overwhelmed or he runs around full speed towards all the dangerous obstacles he can find. We just ushered our last guest out the door and Sam and I practically fell into bed. I can't believe Christmas is already over!

I did get a little teary a few times today. The first was while lying in bed with Sam before he woke up, thinking about how this is his last Christmas as my only baby. Its bittersweet. A sibling is the greatest gift we could give him but I do ache a little thinking of sharing my heart.

I am here bow getting nervous about our appointment tomorrow. I don't know why but baby appointments always make me anxious. Its like I'm always waiting for something to go wrong.

Symptoms: Besides the ever present nausea, gagging and bone dense exhaustion and fatigue, new this week is being extra teary and emotional. I've also had a bad lower backache a few times. I think from picking Sam up a lot.
Weight: I'm down 2.5 lbs from my pre pregnancy weight at this point. All the nausea doesn't help.
Sleep: insomnia is killing me. My restless legs get way worse with pregnancy too so I'm driving my husband crazy with all my moving around. Then there's the ever annoying two am pee call. Ugh. Sooooo.tired.
Food Cravings: No real cravings yet but the only things I want are sour and salty. Sweet things are not sitting well at all. I immediately gag.
Best Moment this week: we told our families about the baby during all the celebrations. Many were surprised but most were supportive and happy for us (if a little awkward about it)
Movement: nope.
Gender: still having strong boy vibes but literally everyone else thinks girl.
Belly button: innie forever
What do I miss: Being hungry!
What am I looking forward to: Hearing this little baby and possibly seeing the little bean tomorrow!
Milestones: first quintessential pregnancy moment: crying while opening Christmas presents.
Weekly Wisdom: never say never! I find myself loving this pregnancy more with each passing day.

Seven Weeks 2.0

I find myself willing this pregnancy along week by week. Not because I'm in any way prepared to handle two babies quite yet, but because I've done this before and I just KNOW that if I hang on til 16 weeks, I will finally gain some energy back and lose some of the dreadful dizziness and nausea that are currently plaguing me.

Its as if Sam knows something is changing in his mama. We were to the point where we were nursing only before naps and bedtime. Since the moment of the positive pregnancy test, Sam has suddenly been nursing like a newborn again. Its like he knows his time is limited. In a way it breaks my heart...and even though my nipples are killing me with every latch, I'd still like to let him to wean himself on his own terms. If I hadn't gotten pregnant, I would've kept nursing Sam until whenever he chose to wean. I hope he gets to wean in a peaceful manner without tears and sadness. It has been such a beautiful, comforting and bonding experience for us both.

Anyyyyyyway. Here I am at 7 weeks pregnant!

I am starting off this pregnancy 25 lbs lighter than my pregnancy with Sam. Yay breastfeeding! I hope I look cute this time rather than just like a large house.

Seven Week Bump Update:

Symptoms: super tender breasts and nips, horrible nausea and near constant on the verge of puking feelings, dizziness, EXHAUSTION

WEIGHT: I’ve actually lost a pound since finding out.

Sleep: seeing as how I haven't slept through the night since before Sam was born, you'd think I'd be used to it by now. Sam is a horrible sleeper but even when he's out I'm awake with racing thoughts. I've also had to get up to pee at 2 every morning. Bah.

Food Cravings: All things salty or sour are what sounds good. Nothing else. I actually drank pickle juice the other day. Lol. Also Wendy's chicken nuggets. I'm really always nauseous and never hungry but those things go down easier than sweets.

Best moment this week:  Sam has started pointing to my belly and saying, "baby! "

Movement: none yet! But I do have tons of tummy gurgles

Labor Signs: nope, not for awhile I hope.

Gender: We won't know for awhile. I have strong boy vibes just like with Sam. I think Josh is hoping for a girl.

Belly Button in or out? In for the long haul. It never popped last time.

What I Miss: energy to play with my boy. Being able to have a mimosa on Christmas

What I am looking forward to: our first appointment on 12/26

Milestones: feeling more bonded to this baby by the day.

Weekly Wisdom: zofran is from heaven.

Here We Go Again!

Well, our lives changed forever that April day in 2012. Our son has been the absolute joy of our life for the last 19 months. We have absolutely soaked him in and I became a different kind of mother than I ever thought I'd be.

I'd be lying if I said I was ready to do it all again but its a little late for that! I am currently 6.5 weeks pregnant with our second child and while at first I was absolutely TERRIFIED and sad that my time alone with Sam was coming to an end, I've slowly come around to the idea of giving him a forever friend. I KNOW in my heart that this all happened for a reason despite the best laid plans of ours. HERE WE GO AGAIN!