Sunday, August 3, 2014

Forty Weeks 2.0

We made it! Forty weeks. Totally full term pregnancy.  I honestly never thought I'd see the day that happened. In a weird way I am proud of my body for hanging in there and doing exactly what it is supposed to do. But now I am also going absolutely just insane wondering when this baby will be born. After several weeks of false labor and labor that starts but then fizzles out I am definitely feeling frustrated and like he will never act be born. Any time I feel a contraction, I try not to get my hopes up Bc the disappointment is so acute each time it turns out to be nothing.

Every night that I start having cramps or contractions, I feel so emotional and make sure and spend extra time holding, nursing and cuddling sam, crying about how it is the last time and just wearing myself out mentally and emotionally...and then I wake up the next morning still pregnant. I am so over this cycle . I just WANT to go hard into labor so there is no doubt. I want to meet my baby. I want to stop waiting and get on with our lives. Ugh.

I got a new phone so I lost my weekly checklist. But let's just say I have nothing new going on. My whole vag area is sore and achy from baby's head being engaged so far down. I'm dilated 2cm as of Thursday.  I'm not too uncomfortable. Just impatient and frustrated. I'm craving root beer like no other!  I think I definitely have a front runner for a name I love if little dude ever comes out. Josh and I both have been obsessive about having a clean and stocked house...we're prepared this time...and of course baby had no intentions of getting here early. No new stretch marks. I've gained 22 lbs. Hopefully this is the last weekly post I'll be making!

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Thirty Nine Weeks 2.0


One week til baby boy is due and no real signs that he will be out before then! The waiting game is frustrating and surreal but I actually feel fine!

I had a very awkward heart ultrasound done last week to make sure my heart was okay for labor. Everything looked fine and so whatever has been going on with my heart is officially pregnancy related and SHOULD go away after delivery. Great news! I m now free to deliver however I choose.

The most common comment I've been getting lately is how small I am. Or how there's no way I'm 9 months pregnant bc I don't seem to be uncomfortable yet. It really is weird. I felt awful and miserable with Sam. With this one, I feel great! The only bad part has been not knowing if baby is head down. Sometimes he definitely is, sometimes not. And he seemed to be dropped last week when I had lots of contractions but this week he seems high again and I've only had sporadic pain. Strange!

Symptoms: heartburn at night. Lots of hot flashes and nausea again but I've learned to live with it. Much more energy actually! I'm definitely still more easily annoyed though :p
Weight: up 22 lbs. Not too shabby!
Sleep: meh, not great but I haven't slept well in years.
Food Cravings: rice chex! That's all I want. Sam likes to share. :)
Best Moment this week: hearing that I look great is always nice and I'm SO relieved my heart is not broken.
Movement: so much less often but much more violent and painful when it DOES happen! Sometimes I have to pause and think, "hmm when did I last feel baby?"
Labor signs: just lotttttts of yucky discharge, a throbbing and achy pain down low and some random period like cramps. Nothing timeable this week. Now we just wait for little man to decide to join us! I actually can't wait to meet him. Its been a difficult pregnancy up til the very end and I just want him HERE so we can get back to life without always waiting for something to happen.

I feel like my belly looks so different depending on clothes, time of day, here's a clothed pic and a naked belly pic.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Thirty Eight Weeks 2.0

Well, here's a post I never knew if I would be making! I actually feel pretty great pregnancy wise. Emotionally, I am irritable as hell this week. It feels like PMS on steroids! Sadly a large part of that comes from always feeling like I do everything for Sam all the time. Normally I love the close, attached relationship we have but this week I've been more like, "ahhh stop touching me/whining at me/ clinging to Meeeee!!!!"

I feel terrible about it but it must just be bc I am so pregnant that some personal space would be appreciated. Too bad toddlers (especially boys their mommas ) don't really understand that.

Truthfully, I don't feel nearly as uncomfortable as I did at the end with Sam. It must be the fact that I am.not hefting around the 50 extra lbs I was with him (30 me, the rest baby weight). I guess my biggest complaint is the not knowing! I hate surprises and it's freaking this control freak out not knowing exactly when this baby will arrive. This goes along with my irritability of feeling like a mostly single parent, but I have a small confession to make. I kind of cannot wait to go have this baby bc I will be sending josh home to Sam afterwards. And in some way I feel like it will be a small vacation for me. Sure, I'll have a newborn but I'll also have some peace and quiet and alone time. I'm almost dying for it. Selfishly, I also cannot WAIT for josh to actually have to deal with Sam for more than an hour at a time. Maybe afterwards, I won't be taken for granted as much.

Bah. See? Told you. Irritable as hell.

Symptoms: besides being cranky as all hell, I've mostly just been hot. A little woozy sometimes. I can't sleep at all bc I can never seem to get comfortable
Weight: hovering right around 21 lbs. Can't complain about that.
Sleep: horrible. And I am.sure that's not helping me and my pissy attitude
Food Cravings: just crushed ice! Oh and milk duds randomly this week which is so weird bc I don't even like milk duds.
Best Moment this week: making it past the point I did with Sam!
Movement: much less frequent but still pretty often and strong.
Labor signs: actually, I've had some cramping or contractions every day for a week or so. One night they were pretty painful and the next morning my belly seemed much lower so I think baby finally dropped.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Thirty Seven Weeks 2.0

Whewwww! We made it! I've never been more pregnant than I am now!

Besides feeling tired and hot, I actually feel pretty great for the first time this entire pregnancy. Sure, I'm uncomfortable sometimes but mostly I think I can keep hanging in there til baby is ready.

At my 36 week appointment, I was measuring about two weeks behind so I am determined to let this baby cook as long as possible. I don't go back til 38 weeks bc otherwise, everything was looking boring with me! My bp is great, weight is great, no dilation at that point, etc.

On Friday night, I was woken up at like 1 am with painful but irregular contractions. They kept me up a few hours but never became timeable so I basically just told my husband and my mom to be ready in case that was the day. It obviously wasn't but I've been crampy every day since then...they just feel like menstrual cramps but are never regular. I'm pretty sure it's just super early labor! So different from my experience with Sam. 

I'm so grateful for this final burst of energy/feeling good bc our house is cleaned and ready and I've been able to really focus on having fun with Sam again these last few weeks. Now it's jut a waiting game! I'm not sure if this will be an August baby or not!

Symptoms: really nauseous again but otherwise feeling okay! Just hot!
Weight: still hanging in at 157 which is exactly 20 lbs up (and ironically my starting weight when I was pregnant with Sam if you can believe it! )
Sleep: not great. I just can't seem to get comfy, I'm always hot, etc. But I do love my daily naps with Sam! I'm gonna miss those!
Food Cravings: crushed ice is the biggest. I go through like six cups a day! Nothing sounds good to eat...but I do still love blue Gatorade, lemonade and cranberry juice!
Best Moment this week: we had a great BBQ on Sunday for my Mother in law. Sam was so cute playing with his cousins all day AND it was nice to just be social outside in the beautiful weather.
Movement: much less than he was moving but he still gives me some good bumps and rolls here and there. I think he's running out of room!
Labor signs: just cramps...and lots of discharge but I don't know if that counts.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Thirty Six Weeks 2.0

Well here we are...the last hump! I think I'm finally calm. All the baby gear is out and ready. The carseat is installed. Sam is starting to talk about the baby and show me the baby's stuff, like diapers and the bed.

He has dropped all nursing sessions except right at bedtime and nap. And those last about a minute...just long enough for him to drop off to sleep.

The thing I'm feeling most of right now is this odd sense of limbo. I am so ready for this baby to come. In a sense, I feel like it'll be any minute bc Sam came so early. But then I know in my head that it could still be another MONTH. The not knowing is driving me crazy. I feel like a ticking time bomb. I'm nervous to go do anything with Sam bc I'm scared I'll go into hard fast labor suddenly. Obviously I'm not going to hide away but it is crazy not knowing when it's going to be.

My 35 week appointment was eventful for sure! I got an ultrasound to check if little dude was head down. Because of my rib pain last week they were worried. While he was wedged sideways last week, he seems to have turned head down now though his head is floating and still not "engaged". My cervix was high and tightly closed. So it seems he's rather comfy in there. The biggest surprise came with the strep b swab. I was expecting a swab around the general vicinity of vag and bum like I had with Sam...nope, homeboy went ALL in the butt. I nearly jumped off the damn table! Ouch!

The 4th of July (our last big milestone even before baby!) Was nice and simple this year. We just hung out
Bbqed, went to the mall parking lot for fireworks and had a good weekend playing in the pool out back and soaking up summer. I've been miserable and hot but I suppose that's to be expected.

Josh broke my hall mirror (just the bad luck! ) this week so ita a bathroom selfie again. You can tell baby shifted bc my belly isnt quite so high and straight out as it was last week. I get the funniest looks out in public, like people expect my water to break at any moment. Lol. So i must look pretty huge. I am suddenly a little emotional about my belly and i hold it and check myself out in the mirror all the time. This is the last time i will ever have a baby growing inside me! I feel like my belly is so cute this time i might actually miss it when its gone! I AM ready for my energy, appetite and ability to breathe to come back though! 

Symptoms: insomnia is the biggest right now. Too much racing thoughts to sleep and then when I can I'm awoken by horrendous acid reflux. Rib pain and sore spots in my belly. Irritability and being super emotional! Nausea, headaches, dizziness. Phew!
Weight: I have FINALLY reached the 20 lb mark at 36 weeks. I knew it'd catch up eventually. I've been eating so sparsely that I know the weight is baby and not me!
Sleep: bah. See above.
Food Cravings: watermelon. Lemonade. Gatorade. Crushed ice. That's about it!
Best Moment this week: the 4th! Its my favorite holiday!
Movement: while he hasn't slowed down a lot, the movements are much less kicky and more like wiggling or settling in to get comfy. I also SWEAR I've SEEN and felt baby sucking his thumb or something in there.
Labor signs: actually not much besides random crampy moments

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Thirty Five Weeks 2.0

I do believe we are ready for this baby. Ready is a relative term but we have all the stuff we could possibly need.

Little man decided to be a drama baby this week when he got stuck in my ribs! I was literally in tears with excruciating pain in my right ribs. I called the nurses line when it was not any better the next day and I wasn't feeling much movement. They had me come in for some monitoring...luckily my sister could come over to watch Sam bc I had to sit there on the monitor for an HOUR!

Baby wasn't moving much but he was moving enough. The nurse felt around a bit and said she thought he was laying sideways in my ribcage and that it felt like I might have a "displaced" rib! Ah! They did another CBC to check for pre e just in case since I have been having headaches too. I have another appointment on Tuesday, they'll do an ultrasound to check little man out if I'm still having the pain.

Symptoms: well the rib pain, headaches, dizziness, NAUSEA still that is freaking killing me...
Weight: I was surprised to see that I'd gained five lbs this month on the dr scale! That puts me right around 18 total! Not too bad for how bad I've felt!
Sleep: ugg
Food Cravings: just watermelon. And Gatorade. I swear I miss real food and really being hungry and not feeling sick all the time.
Best Moment this week: feeling ready for baby finally!
Movement: not much at all this week bc of his position! Sometimes he seems to wiggle loose but much less than normal
Labor signs: lots of cramping, lots of discharge...

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Thirty Four Weeks 2.0

The panic has continued this week. I've also been having nightly bouts of contractions! They feel like weak or dull menstrual cramps. They come every 3-5 minutes for a few hours and then fizzle out. It is crazy. I don't remember this with Sam at all! It kind of makes me believe I was right about my hunch that this little dude won't be long before entering the world.

I bought most of the stuff to assemble my hospital bag and then remembered that I have to pack Sam a bag too! Then I started bawling bc I'm so worried about how my baby is going to react to having to sleep somewhere else, miss his mommy and then come home to a new baby. Ugh. Hot.mess.over here.

In all reality, it's been hitting me lately how much of a big boy Sam is suddenly. He seems to comprehend so much more now (although the concept of baby in mommy's belly is foreign to him still). I know he will do great. I'm just scared of change. He has all but given up nursing except for a few brief seconds before sleep. He has been so sweet and cuddly and I'm trying so hard to just soak it up while he's the only one around.

My heart and nausea have been killing me this week again. Not sure why. But I did get some magnesium supplements from my mom to try. We shall see if it helps. I feel SO uncomfortable and pregnant but I don't feel like I look very big at all . I don't get into the Dr until July but I'll be interested to see how baby is measuring.

Symptoms: nausea, heart pounding all the time and contractions! Also, HOT FLASHES and having to pee allllllllll the time. 

Weight: im up to 152! Baby must have gone through a growth spurt bc i certainly havent been eating much. That puts me at 15! 

Sleep: ugh. I am so exhausted all the time but sleep doesnt come easily. Between the constant need to pee, the insomnia and just generally being uncomfortable , it aint happening. 

Food Cravings: gatorade, lemonade and those ice cream bars with crunchy chocolate shells!

Best Moment this week: Starting to get my hospital bag supplies together. Its getting real!

Movement: Lots and violent! 

Labor signs: yep...well, contractions but i dont know if theyre actually doing anything yet.