I am still sick. Still haven't gone to the doctor. Still being dumb about it. Ugh. I feel really big lately, although I don't think much has changed in the last week. Last night, Josh and I went to dinner and I could not close the bathroom stall door without hitting myself in the belly. That was a wake-up call! It's very strange because I almost feel a little shy/embarrassed at having this belly, especially at work.
Let's be honest, I work at a retail simply because that's the job I could find. It's easy, it worked with my school schedule and planning my wedding and it's way less than I could be doing, but it's a job. I feel so judged by some of my customers there. I've often felt looked down upon, like I must be an idiot because I work there, but now that I'm pregnant what I feel are these awful "oh-poor-underclass-pregnant-woman" stares. I've only had few people actually comment...but I sometimes just want to hide it because the looks annoy the crap out of me. Please, people. You're not going to be paying for my child's welfare or food stamps so get over yourselves. See that rock on my finger? Yeah. That means I'm not too destitute. I'm kind of over it. I'll try to work as long as possible before the baby is born for the extra money cushion, but I'm tempted everyday to just quit because it's not like I'm going back!
Obviously, I've been feeling a bit more edgy, defensive and emotional lately. And I think it's because having this belly does not allow me to just fade into the background like I normally do. I catch people looking. I catch people looking at my belly then quickly looking at my left hand. I look very young. Even at 25 years old, I could probably pass for a high school student. I just hate that people are so judgmental. It has definitely changed my outlook for sure. So what if I was a young, single mother? I've seen many just like that who are better mothers than half of the "happily married career women" mothers are. I guess I just have to learn to work it and embrace it and not be shy about it. After all, that is my baby in there and I am PROUD of that.
Here's my 25 week bump:
How Far Along? 25 weeks! The most pregnant I've ever been for sure!
Maternity Clothes? I swear I was in maternity clothes way back at 9 weeks, but I won't be out of them anytime soon. I've actually not bought a single maternity shirt yet, as I have a short torso most of my regular shirts had worked up until now. However, with this big belly, my shirts are getting stretched to the max. I've bought a couple bigger size shirts from Goodwill actually that I can wear while pregnant...and it's been fun!
Weight Gain? I'm up probably another pound or two from my appointment two weeks ago. I don't notice a real difference but I'm sure I am...baby's getting bigger!
Stretch Marks? I have a few on my hips right above my butt...which is weird. I guess all the pulling of my belly towards the front is causing that skin to stretch. Otherwise, none on the belly. I did notice the weirdest dark ring around my belly button the other day. It looks like a bruise...and it hurts! My belly button is stretched to its limit and almost completely flat.
Sleep? The pregnant insomnia is no joke. I've had to start sleeping with a pillow under my belly to support it, otherwise I feel like Peanut is falling and pulling on my back. That's a weird feeling.
Best Moment of the Week? We went to a graduation party for my friend April on Saturday, and I just love her so much. Of all of my friends, she is definitely the most supportive and excited for our baby. She rubbed my belly, asked his name (which I told her!) and just went off about all the things she is going to do for him, teach him and show him throughout his life. It makes me so happy to know that he has people that truly love him already and anticipate his arrival as much as we do.
Movement? Lots! This little guy is a mover for sure. I did notice days when I am feeling really awful and have to take allergy medicine or something, he moves a lot less...which is kind of scary. But I talked to my doctor about it and she said, "well the medicine makes you drowsy so your baby is too." I also noticed that we'll have a few days of near constant movement followed by a day where I only feel little nudges a couple times. I think he tires himself out in there!
What I miss? Margaritas. Again. Always. :) Being able to shave anything below my waist without having to contort my body, bend in half or do it "by feel" which is always scary! I told Josh that I'd keep trying to keep up with it, but at some point, I will probably have to give it up.
Symptoms: Restless legs at night, the feeling that I seriously cannot breathe most of the day, stretching pains in my belly button and across my tummy, HEARTBURN at anything and everything. Even water.
Cravings: Still loving anything fruity...Capri suns. I had a wicked cupcake craving earlier this week too. Josh walked in the door at dinner time and I was not cooking dinner but actually frosting a dozen yellow cupcakes with chocolate frosting. He laughed. Then ate one with me.
Aversions: Mmm...nothing I can really think of. My appetite has picked up and I'm mostly down for anything right now!