Monday, December 26, 2011

Half Baked! (Aka: 20 Weeks)

We had a wonderful Christmas full of family, food and of course running around. It was almost halfway through the day when I realized I was 20 weeks on Christmas day! Even though I got a lot of wonderful presents for Christmas, I was thrilled to get that one too. After that realization it was absolutely surreal to spend the rest of the day knowing that nect Christmas, we will have a seven month old son crawling around.

I got a lot of belly pats and touches because Peanut is definitely just making himself more and more known these days. I am still fighting through this stupid cold or sinus infection or something. I might actually bite the bullet and go to the doctor since it has been three weeks and I seem to feel worse than ever right now. Otherwise I feel okay, pretty exhausted from all the festivities of Christmas but nothing too crazy. The one weird thing that has been happening repeatedly is the feeling of passing out I've been getting. I only get it when I am standing up doing something and I have to sit down immediately. My arms feel heavy and tingly, my head starts pounding and I feel faint and a couple of times my vision has started to go black at the sides. When I sit and drink some water it clears quickly, but it still  kind of freaks me out. I know feeling lightheaded or dizzy is normal in pregnancy, but I am still going to have to make an appointment I think. It could be bad circulation, low blood sugar or even anemia. Who knows?!

Josh is absolutely going to be the best daddy ever. All weekend long, anytime anyone new walked in the door, he was already greeting them with our ultrasound pictures showing off our boy. Seeing him like that and interacting with our nieces and nephews just makes me completely relax about us as parents. He is going to be phenomenal. We got several new things for the baby for Christmas which just keeps making this all the more real. My mom surprised Josh with the cutest little sleeper outfit that is covered in footballs and says, "Daddy's Little MVP" on it. He was so cute when he opened it. I can tell he has so many wishes and dreams for our son and I know that boy will never be deprived of any vital childhood experience. When Josh and I talk about the future, we don't talk about money or furniture or what our baby will own...we find ourselves talking about all the things we will do with him, teach him and let him learn on his own. Josh keeps saying he can't wait til May but I'm already feeling the mommy tug of, "no! Let him stay in there a little longer!"

Somehow I ended up in the same shirt this week as last week for my bump picture. It's my pretty green Christmas sweater, I guess. Sometimes, I feel more chubby than pregnant but everyone keeps telling me that they can only see a baby chub.

19 Week Bump Update:
How far along:  20 weeks!
How big is baby: We have a cantaloupe baby in there and you can tell! Baby should be right about 6.5 inches from crown to rump still (at 22 weeks, they'll start measuring him from crown to toe!) and around 11 oz. Based on my last appointment, we were pretty close to that.
Total weight gain: Despite all my fears of the doctor's office scale, I have still only gained 4 pounds total. It looks like more when you see that belly, but numbers don't lie!
Sleep: I have finally gotten to the point where I pretty much have to stay on my side. If I wake up on my back, I am usually dizzy and nauseous and light headed.
Best moment of the week: Christmas! Seeing all of our big family and hearing all the excitement about the new grandbaby.   
Food cravings:  Still loving salad and water. (Ha Ha, that makes me sound a lot healthier than I really am.) Josh took me to sushi for my birthday and it was *so* good. I just like California Rolls (cooked crab meat, avocado, cucumber, rice) with lots of wasabi in my soy sauce. I could eat that like every day and be happy.
Food aversions:  The smell of onions has been getting to me lately, but only if it is really strong. Otherwise, nothing really...maybe I'm over that hump finally?
Symptoms:  Still fighting the cold so there's those. I already talked about the fainting feeling, charlie horses in my calves at night, lots of bloating which adds to the huge bump!
Movement:  We felt one big thump together on Christmas morning while we were still laying in bed. I felt Peanut squirming around so I put Josh's hand on my tummy and about an inch to the left and below my belly button was just a quick bump and it was over. I'm not fully convinced yet but it was the biggest thing I've felt so far!
Gender:  BOY!!!! Finally one answer I will know without a doubt the rest of this pregnancy! Yay!
What I’m looking forward to:  Getting out there with Josh and creating a baby registry. I am not even sure we'll have a shower, but it will be nice to have a compiled list of all the things we want and need to help us stay organized. Finding a nursery theme we agree on should be fun ;)
What I miss: Being able to sit on the floor and get up easily! It should not be this hard this early on but it really is!
Next apt:  January 17th I believe. I'll have to check. It's funny how the beginning of pregnancy is so exciting with so many big appointments to look forward to but then after the 20 week anatomy scan, there's really nothing too major coming up. Well, besides childbirth and all. :)

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

oh, BOY!!!

We had a magical day today. It was my birthday and I got the most amazing present I could ever ask for at our anatomy scan. The whole thing felt like a whirlwind but here we are and I am so happy to say...

we are having a SON!!!!!!!!!

The appointment was routine enough. I really did not like our ultrasound tech. She was very bossy and her know-it-all attitude got to me pretty quickly. She was also not very thorough in explaining exactly what it was that she was doing. She printed us some pictures but did not label them the way the girl at our NT scan did but that was a little disappointing. Anyway, before we got started she asked us if we wanted to know the sex. We both emphatically told her yes. She quickly scanned through all the body parts, I guess just accounting for everything. Then she basically blurted out, "okay ready..there's a penis." And just like one vulgar second, our lives changed forever.

Unlike our last ultrasound, our little Peanut was wiggling around like crazy in there! We saw HIM wave, blow bubbles, make kissy faces and at one point completely roll over. It was so odd seeing that happen because I did not feel a thing! He hid his face with his hands for a little while then showed us how flexible he is by stretching his toes all the way up by his face. The tech said Peanut is measuring exactly on track for our due date. He's 6.5 inches and a little chubbier than normal at 10 oz.

We had a follow up appointment with a new doctor in the practice afterwards. He is the one male doctor in the practice and he seems nice enough. He's older, kind of cheesy but whatever. He told me I was only up 4 pounds but did not say anything else about it so I guess he's not concerned. My blood pressure was a great 117/70 so they are not concerned about high blood pressure or pre-eclampsia at all which is good news. Peanut's little heart was beating nice and strong (though much slower than in the past!) at 146 beats per minute. The doctor said the normal range is 120-160 and that it slows down after about 12 weeks so that's right on track too.

Our original plan was to wait until Christmas for the big reveal, but once I heard the word "boy" I knew Josh would not be able to contain his excitement. We made several happy phone calls to his dad and mom and then went and bought a big bouquet of blue balloons to surprise my family with. We walked in the door holding them and my mom screamed! It was so much fun. Almost everyone was expecting a girl but this is such a fantastic surprise. Even though I must admit that I had a little moment of mourning over the pink, frilly girly things I'll be missing out on, the truth is I always wanted a boy first. That way, if I ever do have a little girl, she'll have a big brother just like I did.

We are keeping names to ourselves for the most part. I know our immediate families have a general idea but I am just not interested in hearing anyone else's opinions about it! Here's a couple pictures of our little BOY!

His cute little nose still gets me every time. Here, he was making kissy faces and puckering his little lips. You can also sort of make out his knees tucked up by his belly.

After the somersault, Peanut was face down for a little bit!

This one is kind of creepy because of the detail of the ultrasound and the baby's face but at one point, Peanut literally put up a number one sign for us!

A Perfect Little Foot!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

19 Weeks!

Phew. This has been a long week. Between this cold that will not go away and keeps relapsing over and over and all the Christmas Crazy-ness going on right now, I was so ready for the weekend. It honestly felt like the weekend did not even exist though. I still have quite a bit of Christmas shopping and baking to do and I just don't WANNA! Hmph. I am convinced that all this Christmas shopping is why I am still sick. People are gross. Even though I carry hand sanitizer with me, I still can't get rid of all the germs. Yuck.

Anyway, complaining aside there were some fun moments this week. At work on Saturday, the shirt I was wearing was really emphasizing the bump. I got my first two stranger comments one right after the other. The first was a regular customer of mine. She had been giving me the side-eye for a couple of weeks but was too nice to say anything in case I was just getting chubby. Then on Saturday she finally said, "you can totally smack me if I am wrong...but you're expecting right??" I just laughed and told her yes. She was so relieved. She said I was carrying all out front in the belly so she thought so. The next one was an older gentleman who I'd never seen before. I was just giving him his change when he nonchalantly asked, "when's your baby due?" I have to admit I was a little shocked that I got two comments in one day. I made some joke about how I must really look pregnant because he was the second person to comment and he told me that he used to be an Army doctor and that he had delivered over 8,000 babies in his career. He was such a sweetheart. He told me congratulations and said I looked like I was doing well and then he told me "there is absolutely nothing more joyful in the world than having a baby." He is so right. What a sweet man he was. He even wished me a Merry Christmas before he left.

Josh and I had his company Christmas party on Saturday night. I really was not feeling well but I was glad I went. A co-worker of Josh's has a wife that is also pregnant and it was nice to be able to commiserate with her about all the yuckies. I did get a fair share of people touching my belly even though it is still pretty little. Thankfully, I am not really a squeamish person about physical boundaries so the touching doesn't bother me. It kind of makes me smile that other people are excited for me and our baby. My mom loves to touch my belly and I like it too! She is so ready to feel little Peanut moving around in there.

My bump is definitely noticeable now (obviously) but it thankfully has shifted down a little bit so I can at least breathe now. It seems peanut is resting right around my belly button which is a lot more comfortable than all up in my ribcage! Here's a picture:

Please ignore the lame hand on the hip was the only way not to block the way the bump sticks straight out!

19 Week Bump Update:
How far along:  19 weeks!
How big is baby: The size of a mango! Six inches from head to rump...and growing by the day. My belly doesn't seem big enough to hold something that big inside it but it is amazing to think about.
Total weight gain: Last time I checked around 4 pounds. We have a doctor's appointment this week and doctor's office scales are always a lot meaner (aka: more accurate, lol) so we shall see.
Sleep: The comfort level has been better this week. I have not been having all the abdominal aches and pains when I roll over but the pregnancy insomnia is going strong. I have no real reason for it, I just cannot fall asleep.
Best moment of the week: Getting my first stranger comments for sure. Makes me smile. :)  
Food cravings:  Still on my salad kick. That's all I've been wanting and I've had salad twice this week. Both times they were yummy loaded salads full of olives, mushrooms, avocado and other good stuff. Mm. I want another one! Also, water. I just want to drink it all day tastes so good to me right now. Can't complain about that!
Food aversions:  My sister made the mistake of talking about spaghetti-os which made me want to vomit. Also, my family eats a traditional sauerkraut meal on Christmas Eve and the thought of the smell of that is not too appealing to me either.
Symptoms:  This week, mostly cold symptoms! I feel awful. The nasal issues have moved down into my lungs now so hopefully it's on it's way out. Otherwise, some headaches, tiredness, leg cramps and abdominal fullness.
Movement:  Still just feeling the typical flutters. I am sad that there's been no big bumps yet but I know it is only a matter of time.
Gender:  I just don't know anymore...but I don't have to wait too much longer!
What I’m looking forward to:  My birthday! Not only do we get to find out the sex, but Josh and I have big plans to create a fun little announcement to use to tell our families.
What I miss: Margaritas. We had mexican food the other day and a frozen salty margarita just sounds amazing right now.
Next apt:  Tuesday!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Sick and Embarrassing...

Somehow over the past couple of days, I have come down with some kind of icky cold virus. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. It's that time of the year. I work face to face with customers all day. And I spend 8 hours touching all kinds of dirty shopping cart handles the other day trying to knock out some Christmas shopping. Over the weekend I was mostly just feeling worn down, kind of dizzy and weird. I knew something was coming but I had no clue what.

Yesterday at work it finally hit with full force. The big giant sneezes, the dripping snotty nose, the watery stinging eyes. YUCK. This was all made worse by the fact that the only material available to blow my nose in was the cheapest toilet paper know...the kind that basically feels like rough tissue paper and doesn't absorb any moisture whatsoever? By the end of my shift my nose was raw and stinging. I knew I needed to get to the grocery store immediately for some orange juice, soup and medicine.

As I'm walking around an unfamiliar grocery store (the closest one to my work), I was mindlessly throwing things into my basket that I thought might make me feel better. Cambell's chicken noodle soup: the kind you ate when you were 5. Little tangerines. Soft Kleenex. Vicks Vaporub (hate this stuff but it works!). I was *almost* to the medicine aisle when I felt it coming on: a giant sneeze. When you're sick the sneezes turn evil. They are so huge they bend your whole body into some crazy contorted torture pose. Well, I felt it coming on but I couldn't stop it. I sneezed in the middle of this store...and totally peed my pants. Welcome to being sick while having something the size of a sweet potato lying on your bladder. :(

Thankfully, my pants were black so the wet spot was not noticeable. I grabbed the closest medicine I could find that was on the pregnancy safe list and booked it out of there as fast as I could. Walking out to my car in the freezing temperatures with soaking wet pants was really fun. As was sitting in them for the 15 minute drive home. Looking back now I can only laugh, but last night it was just sick and embarrassing.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

18 Weeks...and POP!

If you consider that 36 weeks is technically full term, I am halfway done with this pregnancy today. I know most first babies are often late but the simple idea that I am nearing the halfway point of this is baffling to me. I went from having a teeny little baby bump to popping straight out in a matter of a few days. I first noticed it the other night when after eating a few bites of pasta, I felt like I could not breathe for a good hour. I went to bed that night and woke up the next day to see a complete and total transformation in my body.

I am not sure if it is actually the baby, or if it is all my other internal organs being pushed up by this baby...but I am carrying HIGH and straight out. I always knew this would be an issue with my teeny torso, but the visual impact is actually stunning. As I was showing off the bump to my mom, she noticed that my ribs which usually stick out pretty far are no longer noticeable because of the hard baby bump. Because I am carrying so high already, I am noticing the difficulty breathing, rib pain and hiccups! See for yourself:

I might start including my face in these pictures because I finally got my hair done! I still feel skinnier everywhere else but my big belly.

18 Week Bump Update:
How far along:  18 weeks!
How big is baby: Today, Peanut is the size of a sweet potato! The actual measurements are 5.7 inches and almost 7 wonder I'm having trouble breathing!
Total weight gain: I hopped on my mom's scale the other day and it looks like I'm still riding the line of 3-4 pounds gained. I know I am going to get in trouble for this at my next doctor's appointment. I swear I'm not TRYING to starve my baby. I think my body just did not need to gain any weight yet. I'm going to trust seems to know what it's doing.
Sleep: I've definitely noticed in the last couple of days that I am very uncomfortable on my back. All the pressure from baby pushes on my spinal cord and it is definitely not fun. I'm normally a side sleeper anyway, so that's good!
Best moment of the week: Josh felt our little Peanut for one brief second the other day. I'm convinced this kid does somersaults in there...I will never forget the smile on his face and how wide his eyes were.  
Food cravings:  Still really *needing* lemony pasta. I haven't gone to the grocery store yet so that's definitely on my to do list. I am thinking angel hair pasta with lots of lemon juice, garlic and some fresh parmesan cheese on top. DROOL. Also, house salads from restaurants. Just a simple lettuce, cucumber, carrot salad with a few croutons and ranch dressing. It's never the same at home!
Food aversions:  Still not really wanting meat ever. I'll eat it but I definitely don't want it.
Symptoms:  Congestion, difficulty breathing, rib pain (almost like a stitch in my side from running), abdominal aches, exhaustion!
Movement:  After less movement last week, I am starting to feel stronger baby movements although they are still less frequent than those early flutters. When Josh felt the baby move I had been feeling rolling motions from one side of my abdomen to the other for about 5 minutes. I grabbed his hand and he felt it for a second and then Peanut was still. Daddy calms the baby apparently. :)
Gender:  Still getting pretty strong girl vibes. I honestly have no idea though. Now that I'm carrying high more people have told me they think it's a girl.
What I’m looking forward to:  Watching our little one on the ultrasound to see if it really is as active in there as it feels like! I hope we get to see some movement but I kind of doubt it. This baby likes to move around more after dinner and before bed and my appointment is early in the morning.
What I miss: Seeing my ribs! Still having some trouble standing up if I'm on the is difficult to maneuver around this hard lump in my belly!
Next apt:  Still waiting til my birthday. 9 days!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011


I don't know where the word Flutterbies came from but I think that me or one of my siblings accidentally called a butterfly a flutterby when we were little. Either way, I have been having lots of them here and there. In the last week or so however, I've noticed them less and less. Even though my belly keeps getting rounder, the flutters have been fewer and farther between. Of course, this is a reason for me to overanalyze and panic.

With my anterior placenta, I knew it was very possible I wouldn't be able to feel baby kicks until later in the pregnancy. Think of it as an air bag protecting the baby from the front. While most women's air bags are in the back, mine is completely cushioning the area in front of my abdomen and the baby. I was just assuming that since I was getting bigger and progressing right along that my placenta was probably growing too and making baby's movements harder to feel. Everything else has been going fine: no cramping, no bleeding, etc. So I was trying not to worry.

This morning, I caved in to a recent impulse buy and ate a huge bowl of Fruit Loops (it was my breakfast and my lunch!) Within a couple minutes my entire abdomen felt like it was full of fluttering wings. I breathed the biggest sigh of relief and literally told my tummy, "thank you for letting mommy know you're okay!" This part of pregnancy is so odd: it's a sort of limbo between the horrible symptoms of the first trimester and the big kicks of later pregnancy so it is hard to know that everything really is okay. At least now I know for the future: this baby loves sugar!

Just for fun, a new picture of Peanut and mommy's new blonde(r) hair!

Monday, December 5, 2011

17 Weeks!

All of a sudden, I feel like time is dragging and my attitude has switched from "whoa! I'm already 17 weeks!" to "oh my gosh, how am I only 17 weeks?!" I know the reason for this switch is the fact that our anatomy scan is in a couple weeks and I just cannot handle the wait!!! I know the time will probably fly because I have so much going on between now and then but as I sit here typing this, it feels like it is so far away!

I have been feeling great for the most part. The newest and most constant symptom is that I am always achy and sore in my low abdomen. It is obvious that this is from my belly stretching out but it is a little disconcerting. I have taken to constantly having a heating pad on when I am at home, which seems to help. Also, I have definitely popped out a little bit more. I have been getting comments. My favorite so far? From my dear brother who stated ever so lovingly, "whoa! Look at that belly! You're rocking the beer gut!" :) I love him but all I wanted to do was smack him! Lol.

It's true though, the belly has arrived. Mostly after eating it pops way out and my previously deep belly button is getting wider and wider. Not really that attractive. I like to wear tighter clothes to show off the bump but the wide open belly button is not that cute!

Here's the bump!

17 Week Bump Update:
How far along:  17 weeks!
How big is baby: This week, peanut is the size of a large yellow onion from root to tip. This is about 5 inches and 5.9 oz. Getting bigger all the time!
Total weight gain: I honestly have no clue! I haven't been to the doctor since 15 weeks and I have had a little appetite return since then. I'm hoping I put on a couple more pounds though I don't necessarily feel like I have.
Sleep: Still having trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep. When I DO fall asleep, I sleep really deeply and it is awesome, it's just getting there that's the issue.
Best moment of the week: Walking around the store with my mom I noticed that my bump was really lopsided! Peanut must have been hanging out on my right side or flipping around or something. We started prodding and poking and eventually my tummy was back to normal, but that was a strange reminder that there is really someONE growing in there!
Food cravings:  Lemon pasta. I have been wanting it sooooo bad and restaurants just don't make a plain garlicky, lemony pasta. Guess I'll have to make it myself!
Food aversions:  Nothing I can really thing of. Still struggling with nothing really sounding that great though.
Symptoms:  Abdominal aches, back pain, worse allergies, feet falling asleep! Feeling so full after just a few bites, to the point where I feel like I cannot breathe. Dizziness.
Movement:  I have actually felt less movement this last week but I am guessing that the placenta blocking baby is just getting thicker. I still feel the little flutters late at night after dinner but no big kicks yet, hopefully soon!
Gender:  Don't tell Josh, but I have been getting some serious girl vibes lately! I took a test recently called the Chinese Gender Predictor and it guesses the sex of the baby based on the mother's birth month and the month the baby was conceived. It said girl. I tested the theory by entering me, my brother and my sister and it was right all 3 times. Spooky!
What I’m looking forward to:  Still looking forward to that big baby kick. And a big pop! I have a little belly but nothing screaming pregnant yet.
What I miss: Putting my socks on/getting up off the ground easily. It sounds strange but with this hard little knot in my belly, it is getting harder to do simple things !
Next apt:  My birthday...16 days away!!! Go quickly days!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

16 Weeks!

One of my very best friends got in a horrific car accident when she was 16 weeks pregnant, and by some miracle, her baby survived. Through a shattered pelvis, countless other broken bones and the ordeal of being thrown out of a car window at 75 mph, that baby lived. That baby is now a beautiful, smart, sweet three year old little girl. My life would not be the same without her or her mommy in it and it is so eye-opening to think that my friend was at this point in her pregnancy when all that occurred.

I feel so blessed to have a relatively "uneventful" pregnancy. I also feel more strongly that a woman's body is designed to envelope and protect these little beings from the world and all it's troubles and pain until they are ready to enter it. It makes me teary to look down at my little round tummy and know that one day I will have a sweet, smart three year old to show for it. What an amazing thing to be able to create and nurture a life. It is not just a fetus, a baby, a is a soul...a heart...a spirit. I only hope to instill the best things in this little spirit and guide this life in a happy direction.

Here I am at sixteen weeks pregnant and I am so happy to be able to do this. In four short weeks, I will be halfway done with this amazing feat of life. In four short weeks, we will found out if that future child will be a boy or a girl. And we will be ecstatic either way.

My body is looking and feeling much the same. I am in an in between stage...I definitely look a little pregnant, but no big POP yet. I am so looking forward to that day. Here's the bump:

16 Week Bump Update:
How far along:  16 weeks! At the end of the 4th whole month of pregnancy. How is that even possible?!
How big is baby: This week our little peanut is about the length of a large avocado. About 4.5-5 inches and weighing in at a whopping 3.5oz! What made this seem more concrete to me was thinking of it as the size of the chicken breast you eat for dinner. Most meat servings are around 4 oz.
Total weight gain: I have only gained 3 pounds so far. I am trying to get on track with eating regularly and more healthy things. I know the weight gain will catch up with me eventually. For now, all I care about is that the baby is doing okay.
Sleep:  I have developed pregnancy insomnia. For no real reason, sometimes I just cannot fall asleep! Even when I am so tired I can barely keep my eyes open, I just can't drift off.
Best moment of the week: Thanksgiving for sure! We deep fried a turkey and it was delicious. As anticipated, the green bean casserole I just *had* to have was completely underwhelming to me. I was way more into my mom's delicious stuffing.
Food cravings:  I cannot think of anything new. I guess ketchup. I normally hate ketchup but I have found myself dipping fries in ketchup when we grab food from Wendy's or something. Yum.
Food aversions:  Eggs. I cannot handle the smell of eggs. Raw, cooked (especially in sweet things like cookies...all I can taste is the eggy flavor inside it.) VOMIT!
Symptoms:  Insomnia, dry eyes, aching feet by the end of the day.
Movement:  YES! Still feeling Peanut fluttering away in there. No real rhyme or reason to when...I just notice it most when I'm sitting still and relaxing. Sometimes when I start eating something, I can tell the baby is getting some nutrients because it will start moving right away.
Gender:  Still thinking boy. My brother in law Nick weighed in when we saw him today...and he said he hoped for a boy. But my father in law keeps calling our baby his "future granddaughter." :) Who knows!
What I’m looking forward to:  Real baby kicks. A Little more energy would be good too.
What I miss: Being able to have a glass of wine after a stressful day. I know that sounds completely alcoholic of me, but sometimes it is so nice to just get that little buzz and kill the stress. No wine for me though! Maybe I'll turn to chocolate....
Next apt:  December 20th. My 25th birthday! We get to do the big anatomy scan and ultrasound to make sure everything is growing as it should. The ultrasound itself is an hour long so that is a lot of baby viewing time! I am so so if only I can wait that long!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Growing, Growing, Growing.

Today we had our "14 week appointment," even though at this point I am measuring closer to 16 weeks. I got to meet a new doctor in the practice and I loved her just as much as my original doctor. I really have to say, I am so glad I was referred to this office by a friend of mine: everyone here is such a joy. The receptionist, the sweet nurses, the conversational doctors. It is everything I would expect from a good doctor's office and ironically, something I've never experienced before.

Unfortunately, I did not get my way and get another ultrasound. They deemed it medically unneccesary. The geneticist's office sent over all my NT scan ultrasounds and blood work so they really had no reason to doubt that I was measuring ahead. They even changed my due date officially to May 13th! Today was a little awkward because there was a male med student shadowing this new doctor. I have never had a male gynecologist but this was just a simple Ob check up so I figured, "what's the harm?" The poor guy was so nervous and awkward I felt bad for him.

The appointment started like they always do with the nurse weighing me and checking my blood pressure. When I stepped on the scale, I could see that I was up 3 pounds which seemed like a huge deal to me: someone who has struggled with body image my whole life. However, when the doctor came in to talk to me she repremanded me for not gaining more at this point. Apparently, they expect moms at my BMI (weight/height ratio) to gain 30 pounds total: 5 in the first trimester, 13 in the second trimester and and 13 in the third trimester. That seems like so much to me. Anyway, she said I should be up about 8 or 9 pounds right now and my 3 just is not what they like to see. I am hoping now that the nausea is all gone I should be able to eat more frequently and better which should help. She jokingly (I think) told me to drink a milkshake every day. Yes, doc!

The med student came in and was instructed to feel my abdomen for the fundal height (where my uterus sits in relation to my pubic bone). He was so gingerly touching me out of fear or embarrassment that I'm sure he was not feeling anything. The doctor (an older Belgian woman with a severe French!) literally had to take his hands and press them into my stomach. That was odd...then she had the med student find the baby's heartrate on the fetal doppler. He awkwardly put some goo on my tummy and went to town trying to find it but I have no clue if he has ever even done this before because he was putting the wand right over my left hipbone. I know I'm no expert but I know the baby is not chillin' in my hip bone. He found my femoral artery and told me it was the baby. I raised my eyebrows and asked if he was sure because my heartbeat is very slow and sounds like whoosh-whoosh-whoosh while the baby's is much faster. He told me everything sounded great and went to get the doctor to come "check his work." She started with the doppler in the center of my belly and moved down a little at a time until she found the actual baby's heartbeat right below my belly button. The student just laughed and said, "oooh I guess I was WAY off!" I could only laugh...poor guy.

I guess all things considered it was a great appointment. She says I am measuring right on for 15/16 weeks and that the baby's heart rate is still sounding good...up in the 160s. She actually started beaming and said, "oooh, it's a girl!" based on the fast heart rate. I thought that was cute but Josh's face was priceless. It's like he forgot for a minute that she couldn't possibly know that...and he believed her! The nurse was not as good as my normal nurse at drawing blood so my arm is kind of sore and I have a little bruise, but nothing to cry about. They are testing my blood for protein, I'll have to look up why and what that means. Our next appointment is a long one: it's the important ultrasound where they measure and study all the baby's body parts and we get to find out the sex at that appointment. Lucky for me, that appointment is on my birthday! What a perfect present! I am so excited now because Josh said he would just take the day off so we could enjoy that and celebrate...and I really cannot think of anything I would want more than that right now!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

15 weeks!

It really does not seem possible to already be at 15 weeks. What is funny is that I am no more "relaxed" about this pregnancy now than I was at 7 weeks. I still get a little worried before appointments, I still stress a little if my back is hurting or I have a cramp. I think that there is no "safe" time in pregnancy until you are holding your baby in your arms. With all that said, I feel like I really love being pregnant...not just because it gives me an excuse for the crankies and the cravings, but because I feel more at home in my body than I have in a long time. I feel like this is what I am supposed to be doing and it is a comforting thing.

With every week that passes, I keep feeling better and better. The nausea is all but gone at this point, though I am starting to wonder if the gagging will ever stop. One of my friends told me that because all your organs are pushed upwards it makes your gag reflex more sensitive...maybe that is my issue? My head has been hurting almost constantly but I'll take that over the constant nausea any day. My allergies have been absolutely awful and the only thing that works even a little is biting the bullet and taking a Zyrtec. My back has started to hurt as well, but I am on my feet all day so I guess that's not surprising. My bump still does not look like " baby" to me but people are starting to mention it so apparently it looks like something. When I am laying down, my abdomen is rock hard and I can feel a hard bump that is just getting bigger and bigger.

I am so unreasonably excited for Thanksgiving this year...I have an excuse to eat all I want and I love Thanksgiving food. I don't know if it is because I am carrying this little life inside of me or what, but I am just in the spirit this year. I've already been listening to Christmas music and plotting my shopping trips. It is still sunny and in the 60s here in Colorado but for the first time ever I am actually craving snow and Christmas lights right now!

15 Week Bump:

15 Week Bump Update:
How far along:  15 weeks! Absolutely unbelievable to think that in a short month, I'll be halfway done with this pregnancy.
How big is baby: Peanut is the size of a navel orange this week...or about 4 inches from head to rump. Huge!
Total weight gain: I feel skinnier everywhere but my round tummy...I actually measured my hips and they are 2 inches smaller than pre-pregnancy so this baby must be sucking the unneeded fat from my body which is awesome. I'm very curious to know my weight and I'll found out on Tuesday (before Thanksgiving...very wise!)
Sleep:  Not so great right now. With the backaches beginning, it is hard to get comfy. I also just feel really congested so sleeping is hard when I cannot breathe.
Best moment of the week: Going out with my girls to see a was so fun to just hang out and actually talk about our future baby and how I'm feeling. 
Food cravings:  Still really craving green bean casserole. I've also been on a hot wing kick. I don't know if that's really a craving, they just sound goooooood all the time.
Food aversions:  Ground beef. Ugh.
Symptoms:  Headaches, backaches, more irritable than before :)
Movement:  YES! I have only felt it a couple times but it was definitely baby. It felt like an electric current vibrating through my lower abdomen. It was fast and only lasted a few seconds at a time but it was definitely something. All the times I've felt it, it was right after I ate something sugary (cereal, juice, etc)
Gender:  We welcomed my mom to "team boy" recently. I don't know what changed her mind but now she believes wholeheartedly that Peanut is a boy. Other than us though, every single person thinks it is going to be a girl. We might get a glimpse at our appointment on Tuesday!
What I’m looking forward to:  Finding out the sex definitely. I am ready to start shopping/registering/drooling over little outfits, cribs and toys.
What I miss:  Advil!!! With these headaches I've been having, I so miss my favorite Advil Liqui-gels (the blue kind!) They work so well and I am sad I cannot take them! Also, my sister. I wish she was here so she could actually be a part of this pregnancy. I'm not going to see her until Christmas when I will definitely have a baby belly. I just feel sad sometimes that she does not really get to be "hands on" with her first niece or nephew.
Next apt:  Tuesday! I am getting the pre-appointment jitters. I think I am going to insist on an ultrasound since we measured so far ahead at our NT scan. I'd like to know exactly where we are at and that everything is going well in there. If they humor me (which they should!) I am going to see if we can get a peek at the goods.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Fast Forward...14 Weeks!

Remember a couple weeks ago when we had to rewind? Well, Peanut had other ideas in mind and decided to grow, grow, grow. So now we have hit the fast forward button. At our NT scan, Peanut was measuring 13 weeks, 4 days when in reality, according to our last measurement, we should have only been 12 weeks, 2 days.

That puts us at today...and today I hit 14 weeks pregnant!!! For some reason, this number just seems monumental to me. It's so close to 20 which is halfway after all. For the most part, something has switched in this body of mine and I am feeling fantastic. Especially compared to how crappy I have been feeling for the past three months. I know that is a long time to feel sick. And now, it feels like just a blink. Josh told me the other night, "I know it is not fun baby, but in the end it will be so worth it." He is so right.

We spilled the beans to the world and it felt fantastic. The response was overwhelmingly happy and positive with the exception of a choice few that shall not be mentioned. Ever since I "came out" I have just felt so much different. It's like, I can embrace the belly now! I walk around with it and don't even try to suck it in. I can actually talk about my symptoms and cravings to people and they care and think these things are funny (which they are!) We are so blessed to be able to welcome our little Peanut into such a wonderful group of friends and family.

Right now, Josh and I are plotting what little Peanut might look like. I hope he/she has my nose, Josh's teeth, my hair, a mix of his green-grey and my golden-green eyes. I hope the tall gene did not skip a generation and that our child will not sprout feet above Josh because he would be so upset :). I hope that our child inherits a musical ability and Josh's protective nature. I hope that my negativity does not instill itself too deeply into the heart of this child and that he/she will be happy and never bitter about life. Most of all, I hope this child knows that we are already in love and that our world has already shifted and circulates around him/her and will forever.

I don't feel like my bump has really grown at all recently. I am ready to really pop. I have noticed that I cannot eat as much because I don't have ROOM in there! And when I do eat, my already puffy belly becomes even more distended. It's a good look, for sure. I have still had some dizzy spells and have noticed that even though I cannot eat a lot at one sitting, I have to eat every couple of hours. Yesterday, I ate breakfast then a couple hours of cleaning later went to the grocery store. By the end of that I was feeling weak and shaky. I am definitely going to mention this to my doctor. I don't know if this baby is just sucking the nutrients out of me as fast as I put them in or if my blood sugar is low or what, but it is a little scary.

Here's the 14 week bump:

14 week Bump Update ( I deleted the boring questions that did not change):
How far along:  14 weeks, trucking right along.
How big is baby: The size of a lemon, or about the size of my clenched fist from head to rump. Getting bigger!
Total weight gain:I think probably about 2 pounds now. Getting my appetite back has been wonderful.
Sleep:  Much, MUCH better lately. No getting up to pee in the middle of the night anymore. My uterus has finally lifted off of my bladder and it is amazing.
Best moment of the week:  Learning that peanut is huge and growing strong and telling our amazing news to the world. :) Josh and I went to Red  Lobster to celebrate and that was amazing too! It was a GREAT week!
Food cravings:  The funniest? Green bean casserole. You know, that stuff with mushroom soup and fried onions? I swear I have eaten this ONCE in my life and it just sounds so amazing right now. It's going on the Thanksgiving menu for sure.
Food aversions:  I can't think of anything specific but sometimes just nothing sounds good.
Symptoms:  Dizziness, shakiness when I have not eaten for awhile, headaches.
Movement:  I swear I was feeling something last night...but being a first time mommy I have no clue what flutters feel like so I guess it could have just been dinner settling or something. It felt like someone was lightly scratching on the inside of my lower abdomen. It was fast and only happened a couple times, but I don't know!
Gender:  Josh and I are still thinking boy. I had a (semi scary) dream last night where I went to the Dr. because of some spotting and she did an ultrasound and said, "HE is doing just fine in there!" Every single other person I talk to thinks it is a girl. Especially Josh's mom. She thinks the heart rate indicates that it is definitely a girl.
What I’m looking forward to:  Real kicking! And a real big baby bump!
What I miss:  Not having to search my body for new stretch marks. Not having to have a constant stock of Jolly Ranchers with me to stop the gagging.
Next apt:  November 22nd...Thanksgiving week! It is not with my normal doctor because of the craziness of the holiday so I am kinda bummed about that but I love this office so I am sure it will be fine.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

NT Scan and a Surprise!!!

I was so unbelievably nervous last night. I did not sleep at all. All night long my mind was racing with all the "what ifs" that could possibly happen. What if baby stopped growing? What if there is no heartbeat anymore? What if there is some problem going on? What if, what if, what if....

We walked into the geneticist's office today and I immediately raised my eyebrows. This place was a riot. Eighties style chairs upholstered in some god-awful high-lighter explosion geometric pattern, huge canvas pictures on the wall of tie dyed human faces and pregnant bellies and boobs. Stacks of Cosmo magazine on the wicker coffee tables. Uhm...yeah. We had the first appointment so we sat alone in the waiting room for awhile as the ultrasound tech got our room all ready. It is always so awkward sitting in waiting rooms. It's like, you want to talk but everyone can hear you so you just sit there in awkward silence.

After awhile the tech came to get us and led us to our exam room. She was no nonsense that is for sure. She told me to lean back and undo my jeans down to my hips. I did and she took a sheet and tucked it allllllll the way into the front of my panties. Glad I was trying to be modest there lady! I gave a side-eye to Josh who was sitting right next to me and he was trying so hard not to laugh. At least that broke the ice a little. It was awesome because they had a huge TV screen suspended from the wall so I could see without having to crook my neck funny or something.

She squirted the (warm! They heated it!) ultrasound goo on my belly and went to town with the wand. We immediately saw our little peanut, but little peanut was not so little anymore! She pointed out all the parts and pieces that we could see...hands, legs, feet, brain!, spinal cord, nasal bone...and then she took three profile pictures and measured the fluid at the back of baby's neck. Each time, it was 1.5 mm. A great measurement. Anything under 3mm is considered "good". Based on that measurement our risk of Down Syndrome went from 1:1000 to 1:7751!!! Great great odds!

She zoomed in on baby's little heart and we could see it pumping away. Then she turned the sound on and peanut's little heartbeat filled the room. A strong 163 bpm. All in all it was a great appointment. We got so many pictures and were totally reassured and ready to tell everyone.

Our surprise came when she measured the baby. From crown to rump peanut was measuring 7.5 centimeters. This bumps my due date from May 22nd alllllllllllllll the way back up to May 13th. Remember back when I thought I was 9 weeks and they told me I was 7weeks3days? Well, peanut is now back to where I thought it should be all along! Time to change all my dates back to normal!!!!! Grr!!! It is so nuts to go from thinking I was 12weeks to all of a sudden being almost 14 weeks. I jumped straight into the second trimester which is so awesome. I am just beaming right now, here is my favorite photo of peanut with his/her perfect little nose!!!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

12 Weeks!

I am seriously slacking this week. I am ecstatic to finally be at the 12 week mark...but this week has been a doozy so far. On Monday I got to work and my regular boss was not there, but some "floater" who was covering for her. He rushed out right when I got there because he had been sitting in the store touching everything all day and had some kind of stomach virus. I am so paranoid about germs in general, but being pregnant I am really worried about coming down with something. Before I even started working, I cloroxed the whole place and washed my hands really well. I figured I was in the clear since I was not actually around him at all.I was not feeling so hot last night but I think I was just stressing myself out about it because I am fine now. I even drank a big mug full of hot chocolate with extra marshmallows and it was deeee-licious.

Here is my (very noticeable!) 12 week bump! I do believe peanut has made his/her entrance and there is no hiding it now.

Bump Update:
How Far Along?  12  weeks! In the old days, this would mark the beginning of the 2nd trimester but nowadays, Drs. say that each trimester is actually I have a ways to go!
Maternity Clothes? Uhm...yes...jeans. I still feel the same up top but I do think I'll need to go bra shopping soon.
Weight Gain? Last I checked just a half pound. We shall see soon.
Stretch Marks? There is something sketch going on with my right boob...I am not sure if it is a vein or what but it is definitely new. 
Sleep? I have finally gotten so exhausted that I am dead to the world right when my head hits the pillow. For awhile there, I was not sleeping well at all. Now that my uterus has raised up a little higher, I feel less pressure on my bladder and I can actually get through the night without peeing.
Best Moment of the Week? So far this week? Nothing...I am looking forward to tomorrow and seeing our little peanut on the NT Scan.
Cravings? I just started having ice cream cravings. Hot fudge sundaes sound amazing. Mint chocolate chip ice cream is calling my name (only the green kind!)
Gender?  We're going to see if we can see any hints of parts at our scan tomorrow.
What I miss? Energy in general. While I am not as tired as before, I still do not have the get-up-and-go kind of energy I need to bang out 15 loads of laundry or deep clean my carpet.
Symptoms: A little return of the nausea this week. Emotional. Some little aches and pains down low.
Weekly Wisdom:  Water is your friend. Headaches, nausea, bathroom problems...just drink a glass of water and it feels better.
Milestones: I can actually feel my uterus on the outside now. While the bump itself is not terribly obvious, when I am laying down I can feel a hard mass about 3 inches across about 3 inches below my belly button. So cool!
Emotions:  Mostly just overwhelmed with small things. Walking in to work this week which has been so busy and stressful just makes me angry because my one co-worker is absolutely worthless.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Oh, Mylanta!

I swear, every time I boast and brag about feeling just a teensy bit better, the Irony Fairy comes around and knocks me back to the beginning. Ugh! As I draw nearer to my 12th week of pregnancy, I am already beginning to see some of my symptoms fading and some completely changing, becoming little hybrids of what they once were.

The newest? Dizziness. Just as all the baby books tell me, the second trimester can bring about dizzy spells. This is because of the dip in blood pressure caused by my blood being taken to little peanut. Good thing for the baby. Not so good for the mama. It is not a fun kind of dizzy. It is nowhere near reminiscent of the spin-around-in-circles-then-fall-down-and-stare-at-the-clouds kind of dizzy we used to initiate when we were little. If I had to equate it to something, I guess I would say it feels like sea-sickness. Just for a moment or two every now and then, my vision tilts a little to the side and I get that horrible queasy vertigo feeling of falling. The good thing? It's not constant. The bad? I never know when it will strike. Sometimes it hits when I am standing, sometimes all I am doing is turning my head...all I know is I don't wanna play anymore!

The sameness? Headaches. I was not one to get many headaches before being pregnant. If I had a headache, I automatically knew I was getting sick and would check myself for a fever. Nowadays they are a pretty common occurrence. Sometimes they coincide with the dizziness and that is just a whole bundle of fun. I mostly think they are tension headaches...the pain feels like a band around my skull and a knot in my neck and shoulders. All I know is Tylenol does not touch them. So today, after approximately 48 hours of my head swimming, pounding and feeling loopy I did the unthinkable: I drank a Coke. Full caffeine, 12 ounces. And it was heaven. Since I found out I was pregnant at the beginning of September, I cut out caffeine completely. And I was a caffeine junkie. A couple sips into this can of Coke I bought at a 7-11 at 7:30am on my way to work and I knew I had found my cure. The headache dissolved instantly. I no longer felt woozy or shaky. I have no idea if the problem is caffeine withdrawal, low blood sugar, in my head (literally) or what...but I'll be asking my doctor about it next time I see her.

The hybrid-ness...? The nausea. The gagging I have mentioned time and again. But now? It is just awful. Sometimes I will cough and completely go into a dry-heaving fit until I can take a sip of water or a deep breath. And though I had an appetite and continue to for the most part, I will start eating and a few bites in I will feel full. I told Josh the other day, there is no way I am eating the proper amount of calories everyday. Which I think is causing me to feel nauseous and ucky by the time it is time to eat a proper meal. For example, I will wake up in the morning and drink a tiny glass of OJ (I never pour a full glass because I know I won't drink it), then I will maybe eat something small mid-morning like a string cheese or an applesauce. By lunchtime I am ravenous and starting to plot what to eat so I will go make some soup or pick up a chicken sandwich on my way to work. But then, 3 bites in and I am over it. So I don't eat anymore. By 3pm I have eaten about 500 calories...maybe. Then dinner comes and I will cook something or stop to pick up something (working til 7:15 sucks for cooking dinner all the time). I force myself to eat dinner and then feel horrible the rest of the night. So that's a full day with maybe 1500 calories. That's not enough for me...let alone peanut. I need to start doing better about this. Right now, I am typing with a bag of Cheese Its and a bottle of water...the only two things that I could think about putting in my mouth without puking. And I am still force feeding them to myself.

It sucks to feel hungry but at the same time feel like not eating at all. :(

Friday, November 4, 2011

200 Days and Other Matters

Week 11 seems to be one of the kindest weeks so far. I am much less exhausted, have an actual appetite besides random cravings (although those are definitely still there too...hello rainbow sherbet!), much less nausea and in general, just feeling better for the first time in awhile. I think the common reaction to starting to feel better in pregnancy is to panic. After all, with symptoms lessening, could I really still be pregnant?!

I just want to say that I am not panicking. I am calm and happy. I can see the rounding of my belly. I can feel the hormones still surging, see the acne all over my chin and I just have this sense that everything is progressing as it should. When I woke up this morning, my baby countdown informed me that I {only} have 200 days left of this pregnancy. Of course, that is until full term so I could have more or less than that, but for some reason that magic number seems significant. I have made it this far...this is happening!

Life in general is stupid stressful right now. Nothing really major, just a bunch of little things getting out of control. That could just be my hormonal self feeling overwhelmed by everything. We live in a tiny, I mean TINY one bedroom apartment. Up to this point, we have liked it here and it has served it's purpose. But now...well, now we are realizing this just is not going to cut it once the baby gets here. Our neighbors are loud and disrespectful, the complex themselves are constantly building, sawing, hammering, blowing or otherwise making noise at odd hours of the day (beginning at 6 am sometimes, I mean honestly!), we live on the second floor with only an exterior staircase that is always covered in snow and ice (I have fallen down them several times while walking Charlie), there is absolutely no extra space for anything ( a crib, baby clothes, baby care items, high chair, even food...) and NOW as if that all was not enough to drive any sane person crazy, we have developed a cockroach infestation.

I just want to say that Josh and I are very clean people, almost anally so for the most part. I keep Clorox in business buying their wipes and sprays because I am a germaphobe and want everything to be disinfected and sanitary at all times. Sure, sometimes we leave dinner dishes in the sink until the next day. Sure, Josh doesn't rinse out his coffee pot every single time he uses it right away, but we are not dirty people. All our food, sugar, flour, etc are stored in plastic locking containers in my neatly organized pantry. We vacuum, sweep and mop frequently, but yet these disgusting bugs keep showing up. Oddly, the only place we had ever seen them coming from was behind the stove. This leads me to believe they are coming from the floor above or below us. This would not shock me at all. This is not a luxury apartment complex by any means, the caliber of people that live here range from white trash to illegal immigrants. I try to not be judgmental because we are living here because it is cheap, but I am so over it right now.

We have contacted the leasing office several times. They informed us that they would send the exterminator to us. When the guy showed up, he told us we needed to have our cabinets and pantry emptied before hand which we did not know. I guess it is kind of common sense, but having never dealt with pest problems before we are clueless in this matter. So the guy sprayed the perimeter of the apartment, behind the stove and refrigerator and left. He told us to empty our cabinets and pantry and he'd be back the next week. Well, all our dishes and food sat on our dining table for a week and we never saw the exterminator guy again. The cockroaches did disappear during that we put our stuff back. Within a week or so, we started noticing one or two cockroaches making their appearance again...always underneath Josh's coffee maker or from behind the stove. So my sister bought us some roach poison. We set it out on the counters so Charlie could not get to it and we did not see another roach for weeks. Until a few days ago. They seem to be back in full force, and what is even more horrendous and disgusting is that these ones look different. I couldn't figure out if the poison had mutated them or something until one day Josh called me to tell me they looked different because they had f-ing babies on their backs. Uhm...yeah.

Josh and I both are going nuts. It sounds dramatic but it feels like we are being encroached upon. It is absolutely NOT okay to live with these unsanitary creatures. Every time we kill one generation of them, the eggs hatch and there they are again. It's just too much. Now that we are thinking about getting the hell out of here, we are worried about taking them with us. At first while they were only in our kitchen, we have recently seen a few migrating elsewhere. It is just awful. We feel dirty and embarrassed to have people over here in case these bugs get seen by other people. Every single time I am in my kitchen cooking a meal (which I should have the right to do!) they creep out because they can smell the food. The whole thing is just overwhelming to me.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

11 Weeks!

Today is a very cool day. It is 11/1/11 and I am 11 weeks! It seems like an all around lucky day to me. I have been feeling much better these past few days. While I still have my gaggy moments, the times when I have an appetite are more frequent than the times I feel like puking. Progress!

I have this pesky vericose vein than popped up behind my left knee and it hurts like I could never have imagined. My doctor says these are common in pregnancy as your blood has to pump harder to get back up to your heart. Unfortunately for me, this also puts me at greater risk for hemorrhoids. Yay! Have I mentioned what a beautiful time pregnancy is? Ugh. I truly hope this vein resolves itself after my pregnancy because it is a sight for sore eyes. Dark purple, squiggly and stretching across my entire back of my knee!

At our 10 week appointment, our doctor made a point of telling me that I have a teeny torso so that is going to make my pregnancy a little different than the norm. Just out of curiosity today, I measured it...and from the bottom of my ribcage to the top of my pubic bone is only 12 inches. So I have a FOOT of room for a baby to grow vertically. As my doctor assured me, this means that my baby has nowhere to go but out. This explains why I am already pretty popped out. I have also been having some uncomfortable rib pain and shortness of breath. Again, my uterus is expanding, pushing all my other organs up making things a little squished in there. I am laughing because if I am already uncomfortable at 11 weeks, I can only imagine what I will feel like with a full sized baby in there!

Baby is the size of a lime this week. It absolutely astounds me that just a few short weeks ago, our little peanut was only a centimeter long and now he/she is about 2 inches long! Huge!

Here is my 11 week shot:

I think my belly is rounding out more and more. I am waiting for my little bump to actually pop way out there, I have a feeling it is only a matter of time. I never realized what a freak of nature I was until I got pregnant! 12 inches of torso space...psh...I am going to be one of those women who looks like she is smuggling a beach ball under my shirt!

Bump Update:
How Far Along?  11 weeks! (And actually updating on the day of...more progress!)
Maternity Clothes? I'm in maternity jeans for good now. There is no going back! I am going to need to special order some though I addition to my teeny torso, my legs are freakishly long. All maternity pants are destined to be highwaters on me.
Weight Gain? As far as I know, I am still up only a half pound. I guess I'll find out at my appointment in a couple weeks.
Stretch Marks? I found my first stretchy today in the most awkward place ever. It is on my back/hip right above my pants line. I am thinking all the pulling of this bump towards the front is causing pulling on my back. Oddly, its on the left side where I have been noticing my sciatic pain.
Sleep? Getting less tired by the week. When I finally fall into bed, I seem to sleep soundly. I am getting up to pee at exactly 3:30 and 6:30 every night. Its annoying, but usually I fall back asleep easily.
Best Moment of the Week? Mainly just talking to Josh about our future baby. He keeps getting more and more excited and it makes me melt.
Movement? None yet. :)
Gender?  No clue! Everyone else thinks girl...J and I think boy.
What I miss? Not having to shave every single day! Between the hormones and the prenatals, my hair on my legs is growing like a weed. Nasty...
Symptoms: Definite irritability. Vericose vein in my left leg (my left side is a mess!), headaches, still gagging.
Weekly Wisdom:  Do not talk about your pregnancy to people who have recently had a baby. They think they are experts on everything and it is extremely obnoxious to me.
Milestones: Telling Josh's grandma that she will soon be a great grandma. It was a fun experience. Pregnancy is not as big a deal on his mom's side of the family (there's been lots already so we're not that special) but she was still glad for us. The word is spreading!
Emotions:  So soooooooo irritated. Especially with lazy co-workers and women who I do not like very much even on a good day.

Friday, October 28, 2011

2nd Appointment

Yesterday, we had our 2nd baby appointment in this pregnancy. I was not quite sure what to expect but it was the most simple and pain free experience thus far. I kind of feel bad asking Josh to go with me, because the appointment was literally 10 minutes long.

We showed up and the nurse weighed me. I am only up 1/2 a pound so far so that's awesome. It looks like a lot more because of all the bloat but hey, the numbers don't lie! Then she checked my blood pressure which was a good 112/72. I absolutely love the nurse at this ob-gyn. She is hilarious and kind and makes me feel like I'm just an old friend walking through the door, not just another patient. We talked a little bit about pregnancy hormones and watching movies and then she told us the doctor would be right in.

I got to keep my clothes on this time, which is always a good sign! Dr. Berenbaum came in, said hi to us, asked me how I was feeling and gave me some props for my weight. Then she pulled out the teeniest little contraption from her pocket and said we were going to hear the baby's heartbeat.

I laid back on the table and undid my jeans. She squirted the super cold blue ultrasound goo all over my tummy and placed the doppler a couple inches below my belly button. Lo and behold, our little peanut was exactly she anticipated. Almost immediately the room filled with the beautiful sound of galloping horses. She kind of raised her eyebrows and said, "wow! That's great that it's so strong and was so easy to find especially at 10 weeks!" Then our little stinker decided to be a little difficult (wonder where peanut gets that from??) and started moving around. It took her a few minutes but she eventually found the heartbeat again. She told us it was a good strong 162 and that it would probably start slowing down now that we were on our way to the second trimester.

I absolutely love this doctor. She spent some extra time moving the doppler around showing us that the whooshing sounds we heard was my heartbeat and that the faster galloping noise was the baby. It was so fun watching Josh's face as that sound came out. It just keeps getting more and more real! She asked if we had any questions, confirmed my Round Ligament Pains when sneezing and told me to be back in 4 weeks. Our next appointment with her is the week of Thanksgiving, on November 22nd.

Up next, we have our NT scan on November 10th. I will say it has been SO nice getting to go in and get checked out and see/hear the baby so frequently during this pregnancy. Even though I always get nervous before the appointments that something is going to be wrong, afterwards I just feel like I am floating. It is a strong sense of peace and happiness, like I'm doing everything I need to be doing for myself and this baby. Josh and I discussed it and we decided that after this NT scan (which is the next time we will get to see our little peanut and get a new updated ultrasound picture) we will finally announce our pregnancy to the world. As tempting as it has been to just shout it from the rooftops, it has been really special and wonderful having our own little secret for awhile. I'd like to come up with a cute creative way to "come out" on facebook so I'll be updating when I figure out what that is.

The most reassuring thing about all this is our doctor told us now that we have both seen and heard the heartbeat and since we are at 10 weeks, our chances of miscarriage drop from 15% all the way down to 3%. I was having some worrysome cramping last night, but I am pretty sure it was a mixture of constipation and just soreness from her pressing pretty hard on my tummy yesterday. We have both just been smiling and so happy about it...and feeling so very blessed.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

10 Weeks!

I had all these grand schemes for having Josh take these cute posed belly shots of me from now on...and then we tried it. He stood up, snapped 3 quick pictures without even thinking about how my face was in shadow or how my hair was parting funny. I looked at them, asked him to take a couple more and like any man, he told me they were fine. So, basically I need to invest in a tripod. Because these shots in the bathroom mirror just aren't cutting it anymore.

Here is my 10 week shot:

I have been feeling okay the last week. I am still gagging like no other but only when I let myself get hungry. I actually have a little of an appetite now, which is so nice. I forgot how food that is not mac and cheese and mashed potatoes taste! My little bump continues to just stick out. I have no clue what is causing it, or where it is coming from but it seems like there is no turning back now!

Bump Update:
How Far Along?  10 weeks! (well, 10 weeks 2 days technically)
Maternity Clothes? I'm still rocking the maternity jeans even though they are too big still. They are much comfier.
Weight Gain? I was just weighed today at the doctor and I am only up 1/2 a pound. I am ecstatic about that! My ob-gyn recommended that I gain 5 lbs in the first trimester. With only 3 weeks left to go, I am doing great on that front.
Stretch Marks? Besides the plethora of them I already had on my thighs, no.
Sleep? I have not been as tired this week as all the previous weeks. It has been so nice. I am not sleeping great because my back has started hurting, but I cannot really complain.
Best Moment of the Week? I will write a seperate post about this, but hearing our little peanut's heartbeat for the first time today!
Movement? None yet. :)
Gender?  We have done multiple silly "gender tests" online and so far the consensus is equally boy/girl. So no help there! I still have this hunch that it's a boy though.
What I miss? Being able to suck in my tummy flat. That will not happen for awhile!
Symptoms: More gagging, but less nausea. That makes no sense to me. Headaches. Strong sense of smell. Higher level of annoyance with everything...haha. Sciatic pain!
Weekly Wisdom:  When sneezing, don't flinch or clinch your muscles! The tweaked nerve pain is much more painful than a few seconds of round ligament pain.
Milestones: Hearing the heartbeat! Making it to double digits of this pregnancy! So so exciting.
Emotions:  Still getting irritated about irrational crap...which is annoying. I still cry at silly things, but most of all I keep having these "life changing" moments when I just sit here and think, "wow. I'm going to be a mommy soon!!!" I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes I forget...and when I have these moments, it is just unreal. Every single time. 

Monday, October 24, 2011

Where did that come from?

We had a busy weekend planned out. Complete with dinner dates to our favorite Mexican restaurant with my mom and her fiance, birthday parties for Josh's sweet grandmother and of course football games on Sunday. I woke up on Saturday morning, feeling extremely puffy and bloated and having some bad kidney pain. I figured that UTI I had been wary of had finally reared it's ugly head. I ran to the store on the way to work and picked up the biggest thing of cranberry juice I could find. I spent my 5 hour shift guzzling it like it was going out of style (and of course making many many trips to the bathroom). By the time I left, I was feeling much better, much skinnier and was noticing that something had happened with my tummy.

I have been "showing" for weeks now. At least I look different than I normally do, even if it is just bloat. But while getting ready for our Mexican dinner date, I threw on my favorite comfy, stretchy black long sleeved t shirt. And I spent the next 10 minutes twisting and turning in our bathroom mirror, just staring in awe. Something had definitely popped. I could no longer suck my tummy in flat like I have been able to. I ran out to where Josh was watching T.V and said, "what is this?!?!" and pointed to my belly. He started laughing, raised his eyebrows and said, "I do believe that is a baby bump!"

Correct me if I am wrong, but...

Please ignore my creepy off to the side eyes. Thanks.

When we got to my mom's I told her I popped and she laughed but then I pulled my jacket back. She cocked her head to the side and said, "I DO see something!" It was just funny. I probably look no different to any random person, but to me I see such a difference in my body.

Our dinner was was so awesome to finally have an appetite again after so many weeks of nausea. I was in heaven with chips and salsa and my "Ric's Platter" ( a sampler of mini Mexican items like flautas and chimichangas and tacos) Actually, I want to go back! Right now!

The next day we had a dinner party at my father in law's house for Josh's grandmother's 70th birthday. On the way there, I was sitting in the passenger seat and felt a sneeze coming on. Lately, when I am in certain positions, if I sneeze or cough I get these killer pains in my abdomen. My doctor says they are round ligament pains. They hurt like CRAZY. Anyways, I felt this sneeze coming on and so I guess when I sneezed, I tensed all my muscles in anticipation of the crazy abdominal pain. Well, that problem was averted but by twisting funny I somehow tweaked a nerve in my lower back.

All night last night, any time I stood or took a step, I got a shooting pain across the top of my left buttcheek, my lower back and allllllll the way down my left leg. When I was sitting, it was more of a sharp throbbing. It was awful! I spent the night with a heating pad off and on my back. This morning it seems to be a little better. I called my Ob-gyn and they told me it definitely sounded like my sciatic nerve. She said sadly I was right in thinking the only remedy was heat, rest and tylenol. So...that was fun. I pinched a nerve by sneezing. Only me.

Besides that, we had a great time with family yesterday and got to see all our nieces and nephews. Josh keeps telling me he does not want a girl, but last night around our new 4 month old niece, he was a puddle of mush. I was laughing because she completely and totally transformed him into a complete softy. He was smitten with her big blue eyes, soft downy hair wisps and little baby smiles. One time when she was fussing, he took her and held her up on his shoulder like he'd been doing it for years and just started walking around the house with her chanting, "it's's okay." :) And she stopped. She completely relaxed and calmed down. And the smile on his face was undeniable. I think he looks at children in a different way now. Even though he has always loved and been great with children, he just has a spark about him now that makes me love him a million times more than I already do.

I can hardly believe in 6 short months, we will have our own little one to love and comfort. It is such a beautiful thought to imagine Josh and I embodied in a child.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

9 Weeks!

As usual, I am posting a day late. I never can seem to be on the ball of taking the picture, editing it and blogging all in the same day.

I was very excited to get to this week. 9 weeks symbolizes our entrance into the third (and final!) month of the first trimester. And believe me, I am ready to kiss the first tri bye bye. We are not the greatest of friends. It also is the week that the little "peanut" inside of me becomes a fetus. Although I hate that word and to me he/she has always been a baby. My baby book tells me that this week our little one is the size of a medium green olive or a grape. That's amazing to me since just a few short weeks ago, peanut was the size of a poppyseed! I also found it quite amusing that my uterus is now the size of a grapefruit...and I can feel every inch of it. My whole lower abdomen just feels swollen.

I actually got my first comment the other day about how I might just have a baby belly. It was from my mom and although she probably knows I just want to hear that it still made me smile. I have officially busted out a pair of Gap maternity jeans with a low belly panel and they are the most glorious things I have ever had on my body. I told my mom I am never going back to regular pants! Because of the stretchy, soft waistband they feel like jammies but they look really cute!

 I think it is pretty clear that week 8 was the week of the wicked bloat and it has calmed down a lot since then. That's probably due to the fact that I have been able to go to the bathroom lately. I feel like the bump has rounded out a lot towards my lower tummy. Yes, there is still some bloat but there is also a hard little knot down there and I'm pretty sure that's the beginnings of a true baby bump.

If there's one thing this little photo journey has taught me, its that I need to clean my bathroom mirror more often. :)

Here is a weekly "survey" that I am going to try to do from now on just to be a little more organized.

How Far Along?  9 weeks!
Maternity Clothes? Jeans yes.  I own a lot of flowy loose shirts anyways so I probably won't buy any specifically maternity tops until I have to.
Weight Gain?I am finally back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Meaning that I have not gained anything really. I lost a couple pounds from being so sick but now I'm back to normal.
Stretch Marks? Not yet..and I pray not for a long time!
Sleep? blah. I have been sleeping horribly the past couple nights. Between tossing and turning because my bed hurts my back, my dear sweet husband snoring non stop and getting up to pee every hour I am just exhausted. *yawn*
Best Moment of the Week? Reaching 9 weeks in general. It makes me happy to think that I am in my third month of pregnancy!
Movement? Nope. But I cannot WAIT for the day I get to feel something.
Gender?  Still up in the air at this point. Josh wants a boy and honestly, so do I for our first. My mom thinks it is a girl. :)
What I miss? Energy. And Margaritas. I was craving one so bad the other day I almost made virgin ones.
Symptoms: I feel like the nausea and exhaustion are even worse this week. I am physically dry heaving now around dinner time and I have to force myself to eat something. *gag* I've also started getting these fun little headaches. And my allergies have been SO much worse. I don't know if that's related but it sucks.
What I’m looking forward to? 2nd tri energy.  I am so so tired. {ditto from last week}
Weekly Wisdom:  Uhm don't annoy a pregnant woman? Things that should have just rolled off my shoulders have made me so angry lately...
Milestones: We told Josh's parents this week and his dad was so happy for us. He made fun of us a little because we just can't seem to make it til the first trimester without blabbing!
Emotions:  I've been less of a crying mess and more of a homicidal rage kinda girl these days. Like I said above, things that just shouldn't bother me that much get under my skin so bad! And the one person who I really cannot stand on a good day has been making me want to slap a hoe. Ahem.

Here is a fun collage of weeks 7,8 and 9. I think the difference in the shape of my tummy in week 9 is pretty obvious. Maybe that's just wishful thinkin' though

Friday, October 14, 2011

Morning Sickness?

Man, I really thought I was getting over the hump of this "morning sickness" thing. Which for me has pretty much been all day nausea, dry-heaving type of gagging all the time and this constant yucky "warm" churny feeling in my tummy until I basically force myself to eat something. For whatever reason, mine has been way worse at night. I am thinking it is probably because I am not eating a whole lot during the day, so by the time dinner time rolls around, my stomach is pretty empty. Ironically, the emptier my stomach gets, the worse the nausea gets. Its a vicious cycle really.

All that aside, the past couple days or so, I thought I was feeling a little better. I even had...dare I say it? appetite for the first time in weeks. Last night I had a wicked craving for cheese enchiladas which of course are impossible to find at 11:00 pm on a Thursday. Unless of course you venture out to a Mexican restaurant. Josh just raised his eyebrows at me like, "I don't think so woman!" I was excited that something finally sounded appealing to me besides mashed potatoes and blue kool aid.

And then...I woke up this morning. Let me just say, the "morning sickness" is back with full force today. Ugh. Brushing my teeth has become an exercise in self control. As in, do not puke. The second the toothbrush hits my mouth its just like instant "I'm-gonna-vomit" feeling complete with gagging. Awesome. Don't you worry though, I fight through it! The thing is, after that happens first thing in the morning it is kind of all down hill from there. Right now, as is usual lately, I cannot bring myself to want to eat anything. Sadly I know that will only make matters worse.

I'm off to go choke down a granola bar or something....oh and morning sickness? You can go away now!!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

8 Week Bump/Update

I really *Really* did not want to take a picture of myself this week. As cute and petite as I looked last week with just a little hard knot down low for a baby bump, I feel like I look like a whale this week.

I am Bloated, man! It is ri-flipping-diculous. It could have something to do with the only things that don't make me wanna gag are plain, simple carbs. Totally healthy right there. I have a feeling I might be close to another birthing/bathroom experience soon (uhm, ew. )

So here I am in all my puffy glory. You can still see the little knot of a baby bump. This time, we know for sure that little "Peanut" as Josh likes to call it is in there.

I'm just now seeing how awkward this picture is. It looks like I don't have an arm, but rather a stump. And you can tell by the way my back is freakishly arched forward that I have some bloat going on in the front. Its the only remotely comfy way to stand lately. *sigh*

In other news, I decided I am gonna wear that same outfit for all my weekly pics just for some continuity. Now if only I could remember which direction to stand in while taking the picture. Oh, and I'm pretty sure until I get a professional to take some maternity pics, I will continue chopping off my own head. Because no one wants to see that anyway. Usually when I take these pics, I have just gotten off my butt to get ready for work and thus, have no makeup on. And I'm not about to put makeup on to take a picture of my belly. Ahem.

As far as updates for this week:

I am still tired...all the time. But I have notice a little boost in my energy in the afternoons which is good because that is when I am at work. The second I get home though, I am so ready for bed.

I have been having more food aversions than cravings. My most recent aversion which made everyone laugh was the thought of chicken noodle soup making me gag. Way back in elementary school, my teacher had a rabbit and I swear to you the smell of its cage (I don't know if it was the rabbit's pee or what) smelled just like chicken noodle soup. *vomit*

I also woke up this morning and could SMELL the laundry in our washing machine that has been sitting there damp for a couple days. EW!

Today I had my first case of what I would assume to be pregnancy brain. It was honestly a little scary. I just could not focus. On anything! People were talking to me and it was just in one ear and out the other. Wow. Let's hope I don't have many more of those days.

I also had my very first CRAZY pregnant dream last night. I won't go into all the details because it was oddly steamy at first but then it got scary and I started bleeding (in the dream). Let's just say I woke in a bit of a panic.

I have been soooooo thirsty. I just drink and drink all day and really, that does not help with the I-have-to-pee-every-5-seconds thing I also have going on.

As far as what few cravings I have had:
*Green olives. Honestly, I could eat an entire jar if Josh was not battling me for them.
* Instant cheesy mashed potatoes. They are warm and bland and salty and just what I need for the constant nausea.
*Chocolate milk. I haven't consumed any yet as milk and me do NOT get along but I want it. Bad.
*Tuna sandwiches. My ob-gyn told me no tuna at all which most of the time they say canned tuna is okay in moderation, but here's another craving I won't get to quench. It's probably for the best.

Surprisingly with all these carbs, I have lost another 2 pounds.That puts me down 4 overall. They say you should gain 3-5 in the first trimester. With 4 weeks left, I now am thinking that might now happen. I am pretty okay with that though because I could have/ should have lost about 15 pounds before getting pregnant anyway. Oops!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The Real 8 Weeks

Since our due date set back last week, I have felt a little bummed that I had to "re-do" weeks 7 and 8. I know that is a little ridiculous because I never did them in the first place, technically.

Alas, today I have legitimately made the 8 week marker and I will say that things are just starting to feel more and more real. We already have our 10 week ultrasound scheduled to hear the baby's heartbeat. This morning, I got a call from a geneticists office that my Ob-gyn recommended and made an appointment to do the first trimester screen with them.

Although I am very against amniocentesis and CVS screenings because of the potential risk they serve to me and the baby, I figured this first screening was something that might be nice to have done. That way, at least we have a better idea of what is going on in there. The sweet receptionist told me all about the procedure and what would take place. Basically, its the most non-invasive screen you can imagine. They will do a genetic ultrasound where they will measure the nuchal fold at the back of the baby's neck. Apparently, this can give us some clue as to the possibility of down syndrome and other issues that might arise. Then all I have to do is a finger poke to give some blood that they will screen for a specific hormone that can point towards Trisomy 18, 21 and other genetic issues.

I do not believe that I would do anything differently with the pregnancy if we found out we even had a 100% chance of a genetic disorder. I know it is something you never want to happen to you, but honestly that is our baby in there. And we will love that baby no matter what. It is kind of surreal thinking of these huge life changing things this early in pregnancy, but I am so thankful that we have the technology available to give us some peace of mind.

This test is apparently 91% accurate in detecting the markers of down syndrome. Although Josh and I have literally no cause for concern as neither of our families have genetic disorders within them I still feel like it will be good to know. In addition, it is another excuse to see our little peanut in there.

I feel very blessed that we are getting to see the baby as much as we are:
7 weeks
10 weeks for the heartbeat ultrasound
12 weeks for the first trimester screening
20 weeks for the determination of gender.

That's all I know about so far. As far as everything else, I feel even more at peace with this pregnancy now. I have seen my little miracle inside of me. I have seen the flicker of a tiny, miraculous heartbeat. I know without a doubt that my body was made to nurture and grow this little bean into a perfect baby.

Friday, October 7, 2011


I just got back from our first amazing pre-natal appointment. I am seeing a new obgyn and she is just awesome. My 1/2 hour appointment became almost an hour and 15 minutes because she was just talking to me and telling me everything I needed to know.

Because of my early loss back in late July/early August there was some confusion as to when I actually conceived. She told me I could either be way farther along than I thought or not as far. She did a pelvic exam and told me my uterus did not feel as progressed as 9 weeks (which is what I assumed based on my first day of bleeding in August.) She decided to do the transvaginal u/s just to try to date the pregnancy more accurately.

Josh was standing right there next to her when she first found the baby. She explained all the different parts and what we were seeing which was SO cool! Then we saw the most amazing thing I have ever experienced in my life: a tiny fluttering heartbeat. Josh and I just locked eyes and he had the biggest smile on his face. I had tears in my eyes and it was honestly magic. While I was laying down, the picture was actually kind of fuzzy, but I sat up to see the ultrasound screen better and she was able to show us (and capture!) a pretty detailed little picture. We could see the shape of a head and little arm and leg stumps, and the head to rump measurement put me around 7 weeks 3 days.

So...REWIND! I thought I was 9 weeks, but I just went back in time almost 2 weeks. She told me not to worry, as my LMP was strange I probably just conceived later than I thought but that everything looked perfect. I got my first positive pregnancy test on September 6, 2011 and that would mean I was 8 days past conception. So once again, I know my body. I was barely 3 weeks pregnant when I took that test. I have another appointment at 10 weeks (so October 27th) to hear the heartbeat. I am feeling so calm and blessed right now.

Ever since the appointment, I have been referring to the baby as "he." I don't know why, it just feels right. I'm sure if it is a girl she will one day be mortified that we called her a he for awhile there. :) Here is our PERFECT little miracle of a jellybean:

Ouch and Eww

I was just woken up out of a deep sleep by what I thought for a second were contractions. I am fully aware that I am only 9 weeks pregnant, but in my bleary eyed confusion, that is the first thing that came to my mind. My entire abdomen was clenching up in extreme pain and waves of nausea were coursing through me like mad. It was about this time that I remembered, I had not had a normal BM in about a week!

I got out of bed and tried to quietly make my way to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror at myself, I was horrified. My reflection resembled a crazy person literally. My hair was doing that cute, I-went-to-bed-with-damp-hair craziness, my face was pale as a ghost from the pain and my belly was so distended I honestly looked 7 months pregnant. Apparently, my body decided that 3:00am was a swell  time to get things moving right along.

An hour later (and 4 trips to the bathroom, 2 tums and a glass of ice water) I think I am finally in the clear. It was honestly touch and go for a minute there. I have never in my life felt such horrible gas pains. Each new wave of pain would make me double over and almost gag. I was afraid I was going to have one of those sitting on the toilet while puking in the trash can moments. Thank God, I didn't. It is so funny though because I really had to like breathe my way through it. And afterwards, I felt like I accomplished the first milestone of pregnancy. It felt awful, painful, disgusting and totally gross but I did it.

I feel *so* much better right now than I have in days. The horrific bloating is already decreasing and I can just feel how my abdomen is not as swollen and painful to the touch. I am still awake because I have been dreading going back to bed and being woken in an hour with another bout. It's been about an hour without any ahem, movement though so I think I need to turn off my brain and go lay down.

In about 6 hours, I have my first pre-natal appointment and I am honestly feeling a million things. Including shock that I was even able to get to sleep before the incident. I am ready to find out the fate of me and this baby. And wanting, more than anything in this world, for everything to turn out perfectly okay.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Moody Judy (8 Weeks)

Phew. I am a piece of work lately. I can feel myself doing it: being an absolute be-yotch for no reason. And being irritated is irritating. Hello, pregnancy hormones!!!

I just now realized I am 8 weeks and 5 days and have not posted a weekly update yet. Well, that would simply be because I am everything right now. Maybe it was the crazy, stressful dramatic weekend we had. Maybe I am upset because we don't get to celebrate our one year anniversary until next week. Maybe its this stupid cold that crept up on and is now kicking my butt. All I can say is, I am just a flipping ray of sunshine right now.

Currently topping my list of things that are sending me over the edge:

*Josh putting his feet on mine. Whether we're in bed or just watching TV on the couch. Whether we both have socks on or just him or whatever. Something about it is currently pushing my every last button. Crazy!

*Working in customer service. People are always rude. This is nothing new to me. What is new is this brazen attitude I have recently developed that makes me want to wave in people's faces and say, "hey....yes, you there. Hang up your damn cell phone or I will not assist you!"

*My apartment being a complete and utter disaster area. I have neither the time nor the energy to clean it and I just keep letting it get worse and worse.

*Peeing every 2.5 minutes. Seriously. I am so sick of unzipping pants, sitting on the toilet, wiping and then repeating. Who knew such a common everyday thing could be so irritating?

Apart from the MAYJAH switch in my mood lately, I have also been having a slew of other new symptoms which actually have been more of an ego boost that everything is going as it should. These include:

*Headaches. All the damn time. Mostly around my eyes but sometimes a bad tension headache in my neck.

*A fun little pinchy, spasm-y back pain right above my left butt cheek. When I turn a certain way or sit too long and move I actually gasp because its such a random sharp pain.

*Night nausea. I don't know what dinner is anymore. I have been eating instant mashed potatoes like a mad woman in an attempt to not vomit every night. And I still get that creepy gaggy feeling in the back of my throat all day long.

*Random tugs and cramps in my abdomen. Not painful by any means but definitely noticeable. And they definitely feel like very mild menstrual cramps. I am assuming this is the uterine stretching I have been reading about.

*BLOAT baby. Where I could see a definite hard knot in my tummy last week, this week all I see is a bunch of bloated yuckiness. I cannot even suck it in anymore. And my hipbones? I miss them. :(