Thirty Three Weeks 2.0

holy.shit.

I know, I know. But really. I'm going to have a baby soon. I'm really starting to panic actually. I feel like a first time mom all over again. This weird, contorting blob in my belly is actually going to be a real person in a few weeks.

Ahhhhhhhhhjhjjhbdbdjdjdbdbdj!

I am just. Stressed. I have no clue how Sam will handle it all. Or how we will. Ultimately I know it will be the greatest thing ever but logistically, I'm legitimately freaking out right now. That's why until now I've just sort of not thought about it at all . O.o

I think the hardest thing for me is not knowing WHEN it will happen. It could be any day or I could have 7 more weeks. For something so life altering, its just crazy to me to NOT.KNOW. I feel like Sam just doesn't at all grasp the concept and I'm really worried about how he will do  with the whole adjustment. He's my baby! I want him to feel totally into it and secure but there's no guaranteed way to make that happen. Ugh. I need to go back to denial land . Its safe there.

 
Symptoms: as you can tell, panic has set in! The reflux, heartburn and restless legs are killing me this week. Insomnia goes along with that. I've also been incredibly nauseous most days again.
Weight: up 11-12 lbs depending on the time of day lol. Have I finally started gaining for good?
Sleep: terrible. I'm so exhausted and end up napping with Sam nearly every day to survive
Food Cravings: Gatorade. It makes me feels better. Nothing else really
Best Moment this week: it's father's day weekend and seeing josh with Sam really gives me faith that our family was meant to expand to four and that it will be great!
Movement: always. This baby is VIOLENT and strong? Holy cow. Late at night, he wakes me up by moving my entire belly.
Labor signs: some random cramping here and there but it always goes away
Gender: boy. Still. ;)
Belly button: Out
What do I miss: sleep. Being hungry. Being able to breathe.
What am I looking forward to: I keep waiting for that perfect name to just jump out at me. ..
Milestones: hmm...first time I peed myself from baby kicking me hard in the bladder? That was charming!