Twenty Two Weeks 2.0

I am officially in the mid pregnancy funk. You know...where I feel like I've been pregnant forever but I'm also totally freaking out? That one.

I'm completely exhausted. This pregnancy is so much harder than Sam's and he hasn't been anything less than a handful either. I don't know what I'm going to do with him. It is typical for us to be up 2-3 times a night and usually he takes a couple hours to settle back down in the wee morning hours. I cannot even imagine trying to deal with that and the newborn wake ups.

We did go put together a small registry this weekend and it was fun to look at all the baby gear again. One thing I am completely clueless about is bottles. Its funny to have a two year old but still be such a clueless mom in that arena. I stood in the bottle aisle for a good twenty minutes just walking back and forth shaking my head in disbelief. It seems so hard compared to just popping out a boob!

I had to promise josh that beginning at six weeks, I'd be pumping and we would do bottles at least some of the time so that he could help me in a way that he couldnt with Sam. so I just picked one at random and scanned away. Overwhelming!

Symptoms: Still having daily nausea attacks, though not until the evening usually. They can be brutal though. Some back pain. heartburn. And Braxton Hicks contractions especially while out running around. I also noticed that my hands and feet get super puffy and hot if I am walking around and it's warm out. Should make this summertime pregnancy super fun! :/
Weight: 138.8 this week. moving on up. my favorite part. boo. (Although baby is almost a foot long and a lb by now so it's not me, it's baby! )
Sleep: ...
Food Cravings: rice Krispie treats and cranberry juice!
Best Moment this week: making choices for the new baby at the store.
Movement: so so much. Always down low still
Labor signs: Nope
Gender: boy!
Belly button: getting flatter by the day. I think I might pop this time
What do I miss: frozen margaritas and sleeping on my back without getting ridiculously dizzy
What am I looking forward to: next appointment on 4/14 so we can discuss our anatomy scan finally

Twenty One Weeks 2.0

I feel like this has been a rough week. Sam has been getting his last two molars and has been acting nuts: clingy, whiny, sleeping and eating poorly, etc. I'm exhausted from just dealing with him but I've also not been feeling well at all. I don't know if I'm getting sick or if it's just a weird pregnancy thing but the nausea has been out of control this week again.  I actually ran to the bathroom thinking I was going to throw up a few times but nothing happened. Bleh.

You can see it in my picture this week...just pure exhaustion and crummy feeling. I feel like I look pale, sick and gross. My belly feels huge but doesn't look as big as it feels...I do feel like I'm carrying lower this time for sure.

Possibly related to not feeling well and not sleeping well but I've also been insanely emotional this week. Josh and I have had some disagreements lately (mostly about parenting Sam) and I've just been a bawling mess.

I don't think it's fully sunken in yet that we are having another boy! Maybe I'm just smarter this time bc with Sam I wanted to buy EVERYTHING and this time, I haven't gotten the bug yet.

I did go through Sam's tiny clothes and picked out what we can use again. I actually didn't keep much besides my favorites as I thought we were done after him! Some of the stuff is off limits just bc it is so SAM to me and I'd like to keep that stuff as just his (like all the tiny elephant clothes since he was our "peanut"). I think it's a good thing to let them each have their own identity though. I almost cried looking at how tiny they were...it feels like YESTERDAY we were bringing Sam home and now, here we are two years later about to do it all again! Parenting may be hard but damn does it go quickly.

Symptoms: more nausea, dry heaves (super fun!), heart pounding, shakiness and dizziness if I eat lots of sugar which is weird.
Weight: 137.5...possibly now we will start going up and up. I'm not entirely ready to see the scale rise but it's for the baby
Sleep:. ..ugg
Food Cravings: not much this week. cranberry limeades from sonic which usually end up making me feel super icky
Best Moment this week: Going through Sam's old stuff was bittersweet
Movement: so much. sometimes I wonder if the random waves of nausea are from the baby hitting me awkwardly in the stomach and flipping around like a fish in there.
Labor signs: nope
Gender: BOY!
Belly button: pretty flat and popped on top. it pops out when I cough or laugh. :p
What do I miss: not feeling like I'm going to heave 24/7
What am I looking forward to: maybe getting out there and making some new baby purchases. decorating a nursery
Milestones: Over the 1/2 way point! I can definitely see kicks from the outside now

Oh, Boy, Oh, BOYYYYY!

My mom came over early on Monday to stay with Sam while Josh and I headed out for our big ultrasound appointment. I was so ridiculously nervous about the unknown! I even took a zofran bc I felt so sick from stress.

We were called back almost immediately and led back to a room where I laid Down on the table.  There was a small screen across the room so we could watch baby. Of course, I didn't wear my contacts so I couldn't see very much detail. Oops! Our tech was nice and said she would give us a guess if she was pretty sure about the sex but reminded us that it wasn't 100% We told her we were very interested to know!

We got started right away and she pretty much explained what she was doing as she was measuring away. This normally bouncing baby was snoozing and curled into a literal ball in my right hip. The very first thing we saw was a butt, legs and the evidence! She circled it on the screen and asked if we could tell. I couldn't see that far so josh walked over and looked for awhile...he said, "it doesn't LOOK like a pee pee..." and for an instant, my mind raced over to little girl thoughts. But then the tech said, "it is! That's definitely a penis! " and she zoomed in so we could really see.

ANOTHER BOY! I actually squealed and clapped. I so deeply wanted a brother for Sam.  Josh seemed bemused through the rest of the ultrasound. I think he really thought it was a girl. By the time we walked out, the truth had set in and he was talking about his "sons" and all they would do. ::heart melt::

The ultrasound took awhile because the baby had his head buried into my back. I was flipped all over trying to get him to move so we could see his face and get his measurements. She didn't tell us anything about how he looked but I should be able to find out at my next appointment. His heart rate was a strong 168 bpm. She had me cough a bit to try to move him and he flailed so cutely but then snuggled back down. Guess the zofran made him sleepy!

My plan was to go to a party store and buy a blue balloon for Sam to open so I could video it and break the news that way. Well, we couldn't find a party store! (they all closed apparently) We were supposed to meet my mom and Sam for lunch so we were crunched for time. We ran into Wal-Mart to try and throw something together...and failed...repeatedly. I threw this biggest emotional pregnancy tantrum ever and Josh stepped up to bat for me and made my vision happen. We got the VIP treatment and Wal-Mart used their secret helium to blow a balloon up for me. ;) I'm sure he won't let me live that down anytime soon

Finally we were seated at the restaurant and Sam opened his balloon. Of course he didn't get the significance but he loved the balloon. My mom was so surprised and I got a great video.

We are so excited to finally get planning for this new little life that will be joining us soon.  I hope Sam and this baby will be best buds. Now, we will probably never have a name for him as Samuel was the only boy name we could ever agree on.

Here's some pics from the day!

Twenty Weeks 2.0

I have two simultaneous thoughts this week:

1. I'M HALFWAY DONE ALREADY? !?!
2. I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN PREGNANT FOREVER!

in reality, most of this pregnancy has just flown by with me being in complete denial that I'm actually going to be bringing another child into this world. I've felt so crappy that that's sort of been the focus moreso than actually realizing there's another little life growing inside of me.

That thought makes me all the more terrified and exhilarated for our appointment tomorrow. Finding out the sex of this baby will, for once and for all, solidify the truth that there will be a tiny BOY or a GIRL joining us in just a few short months.

I was thinking today how different this pregnancy is than Sam's was. With Sam, I KNEW he was a boy...wholeheartedly the entire time. Josh and I had lists of baby gear, clothes, hospital tours, car seat recs and baby names way before week 20. And this time, I haven't committed to anything yet bc I have np CLUE if this baby is a boy or a girl. I have boy hunches but no strong strong feeling. We haven't even discussed one name bc it stresses me out and there's no sense stressing until I know. Its just so funny how different the experience has been. I don't have time or energy to stress about every little thing the way I did with Sam. I basically know we need a new car seat, a place for the baby to sleep and some new clothes. the rest will be just a repeat of what I learned with Sam. 

Symptoms: heartburn, indigestion, still lots of feeling faint and near blackout episodes, the nausea has not abated yet but my appetite does come back randomly. Really not fun this week is excruciating sciatic nerve pain from my right butt cheek all the way down my leg and really giving me shocks of pain on the right side of my shin and ankle! owie!
Weight: 136 .back to my starting weight!
Sleep: Sam has slept better this week and so therefore I have too, thank goodness.
Food Cravings: ...not a whole lot sounds good except drinks. Cranberry limeade from sonic, specifically.
Best Moment this week: Josh FINALLY committed to quitting smoking for good which is huge. Obviously, I'll have another best moment here very soon!
Movement: oh my gosh, SO MUCH! this baby truly never stops thumping and flipping around. ever.
Labor signs: nope.
Gender: one more day!
Belly button: pretty popped out on top
What do I miss: just feeling normal and not sick and achy.
What am I looking forward to: anatomy scan tomorrow!
Milestones: halfway (or more) there!

Nineteen Weeks 2.0

It's been a rough week here. Sam has been super fussy though I haven't been able to figure out why. I think its his last two teeth. Hmph.  Pregnant me is not as patient as I'd like so all the constant whining and crying is really wearing me down.

This baby has now been dubbed, "Bean" by Josh. We called Sam Peanut so I guess it fits. Bean moves CONSTANTLY. I don't think there is ever a time when he/she is completely still. Its so different from Sam (who I thought moved a lot! ) Maybe I just feel like it's odd bc I'm only 19 weeks and it is so.much.thumping, wiggling, rolling, etc. I can see the thumps from the outside too!

I am feeling so very impatient for ny anatomy scan on Monday! I feel like time is dragging on!

My stomach has been much better this week, I've really been trying not to let stress rule my mind so much. I've actually had a little upswing in appetite too, though usually I feel miserably full and nauseated after eating anything besides a bland carb.

I feel like I still don't look super pregnant unless I'm sitting down. Then my short torso gets all squished out. I know I felt way bigger with Sam at this point (not counting the 30 lbs I had then that I don't have now)

Symptoms: Lots of hot flashes, dizzy/blackout spells, the urge to crack all my joints constantly, IRRITABILITY, headaches (especially around my eyes...I feel like my vision is way worse) , tightening and soreness in my belly, heartburn, reflux and the usual nausea. fun times!
Weight: 135 this week. finally creeping back up!
Sleep: okay except Sam is being crazy.
Food Cravings: this week I wanted seafood and nothing would be right until I had some. Shrimp cocktail, salmon, garlicky lemony shrimp. We had all those on Sunday and it was magical
Best Moment this week: being hungry and actually EATING a meal!
Movement: SO MUCH.
Labor signs: nope
Gender: one more Weeeeeeek
Belly button: out on top
What do I miss: energy. adult beverages. it's funny, I'm not really a drinker but when I'm pregnant, I WANT margaritas, champagne mixed drinks, etc
What am I looking forward to: anatomy scan!
Milestones: almost halfway there! actually more than half if I only stay pregnant for 37 weeks like I did with Sam.

Eighteen Weeks 2.0

Ugh. This pregnancy is really messing with my IBS and anxiety. NOT a good mix. I either am severely constipated or having diarrhea. There is no middle ground. I've also been having days where I feel like I have to go but am passing nothing but mucus. yuck. It doesn't help me want to eat anything that's for sure.

At this point, I have major anxiety about leaving the house bc I never know what my stomach is going to do. The thought of having to run to a bathroom in public with a toddler gives me panic attacks. The anxiety doesn't help the stomach issues either. Its an obviously vicious cycle.

We also had kind of a dramatic week when I had to take Sam to the Dr bc he was holding his crotch and crying and saying, "hurt! " He ended up needing a catheter inserted to get a urine sample. I wanted to cry! Having to hold him down was so sad for me but he was brave and got through it and definitely peed allllllllll over the nurse for good measure. ;) All is well now.

I've definitely started to get more emotional lately. I took Sam to see his first movie in theaters on Thursday (after having to talk myself up for about three days) . We saw Frozen and I literally cried the entire movie. Just the first bars of music were enough to set me off. Oh man. The good news is Sam had fun and was so good. We had the whole theater to ourselves and he sat and munched popcorn, nursed and cuddled in my lap and walked around a little but overall he was very enthralled by the movie.

Symptoms: zits! digestive distress. dizziness and blackout episodes when I stand up.
Weight: Still at 133ish. I am really struggling to want to eat anything bc it all comes out in a not pleasant way.
Sleep: Meh. I really need to sleep off my back as I get so dizzy and loopy if I do. My belly is also feeling heavy and pulling when I lay on my sides so I basically can't get comfortable already
Food Cravings: Bleh. Basically just liking string cheese and blue Gatorade and kool aid lately.
Best Moment this week: Besides my movie with Sam, he lifted my shirt up and kissed my belly and rubbed it and said, "baby! " so.cute!
Movement: Not as active as last week but definitely feeling thumps pretty regularly, usually to the right and below my belly button . Especially when I have a full bladder!
Labor signs: nope
Gender: two more weeks! I want to know NOWWWW!
Belly button: out on top most the time.
What do I miss: Feeling like I can go about my daily life without having bathroom issues.
What am I looking forward to: Next appointment and finding out boy or girl!