25 Weeks!

I just realized how very close I'm getting to my third trimester. According to thebump.com, I only have 105 days left of carrying little Peanut inside of me. I have almost slipped a million times and spilled his name. I've been calling him "Baby ___" at home and it's hard to remember that I don't want everyone to know before he's here. No real reason other than I'd like to have something to announce to the world, you know?

I am still sick. Still haven't gone to the doctor. Still being dumb about it. Ugh. I feel really big lately, although I don't think much has changed in the last week. Last night, Josh and I went to dinner and I could not close the bathroom stall door without hitting myself in the belly. That was a wake-up call! It's very strange because I almost feel a little shy/embarrassed at having this belly, especially at work.

Let's be honest, I work at a retail simply because that's the job I could find. It's easy, it worked with my school schedule and planning my wedding and it's way less than I could be doing, but it's a job. I feel so judged by some of my customers there. I've often felt looked down upon, like I must be an idiot because I work there, but now that I'm pregnant what I feel are these awful "oh-poor-underclass-pregnant-woman" stares. I've only had  few people actually comment...but I sometimes just want to hide it because the looks annoy the crap out of me. Please, people. You're not going to be paying for my child's welfare or food stamps so get over yourselves. See that rock on my finger? Yeah. That means I'm not too destitute. I'm kind of over it. I'll try to work as long as possible before the baby is born for the extra money cushion, but I'm tempted everyday to just quit because it's not like I'm going back!

Obviously, I've been feeling a bit more edgy, defensive and emotional lately. And I think it's because having this belly does not allow me to just fade into the background like I normally do. I catch people looking. I catch people looking at my belly then quickly looking at my left hand. I look very young. Even at 25 years old, I could probably pass for a high school student. I just hate that people are so judgmental. It has definitely changed my outlook for sure. So what if I was a young, single mother? I've seen many just like that who are better mothers than half of the "happily married career women" mothers are. I guess I just have to learn to work it and embrace it and not be shy about it. After all, that is my baby in there and I am PROUD of that.

Here's my 25 week bump:

Bump Update:
How Far Along?  25 weeks! The most pregnant I've ever been for sure!
Maternity Clothes? I swear I was in maternity clothes way back at 9 weeks, but I won't be out of them anytime soon. I've actually not bought a single maternity shirt yet, as I have a short torso most of my regular shirts had worked up until now. However, with this big belly, my shirts are getting stretched to the max. I've bought a couple bigger size shirts from Goodwill actually that I can wear while pregnant...and it's been fun!
Weight Gain? I'm up probably another pound or two from my appointment two weeks ago. I don't notice a real difference but I'm sure I am...baby's getting bigger!
Stretch Marks? I have a few on my hips right above my butt...which is weird. I guess all the pulling of my belly towards the front is causing that skin to stretch. Otherwise, none on the belly. I did notice the weirdest dark ring around my belly button the other day. It looks like a bruise...and it hurts! My belly button is stretched to its limit and almost completely flat.
Sleep? The pregnant insomnia is no joke. I've had to start sleeping with a pillow under my belly to support it, otherwise I feel like Peanut is falling and pulling on my back. That's a weird feeling.
Best Moment of the Week? We went to a graduation party for my friend April on Saturday, and I just love her so much. Of all of my friends, she is definitely the most supportive and excited for our baby. She rubbed my belly, asked his name (which I told her!) and just went off about all the things she is going to do for him, teach him and show him throughout his life. It makes me so happy to know that he has people that truly love him already and anticipate his arrival as much as we do.
Movement? Lots! This little guy  is a mover for sure. I did notice days when I am feeling really awful and have to take allergy medicine or something, he moves a lot less...which is kind of scary. But I talked to my doctor about it and she said, "well the medicine makes you drowsy so your baby is too." I also noticed that we'll have a few days of near constant movement followed by a day where I only feel little nudges a couple times. I think he tires himself out in there!
What I miss? Margaritas. Again. Always. :) Being able to shave anything below my waist without having to contort my body, bend in half or do it "by feel" which is always scary! I told Josh that I'd keep trying to keep up with it, but at some point, I will probably have to give it up.
Symptoms: Restless legs at night, the feeling that I seriously cannot breathe most of the day, stretching pains in my belly button and across my tummy, HEARTBURN at anything and everything. Even water.
Cravings: Still loving anything fruity...Capri suns. I had a wicked cupcake craving earlier this week too. Josh walked in the door at dinner time and I was not cooking dinner but actually frosting a dozen yellow cupcakes with chocolate frosting. He laughed. Then ate one with me.
Aversions: Mmm...nothing I can really think of. My appetite has picked up and I'm mostly down for anything right now!

Living Situation

I have talked before about how much we hate this little apartment that we live in. But we are stuck here. We signed a brand new, year long lease just one month before I found out I was pregnant. Talk about bad timing! Our lease will be up at the end of July/beginning of August this year. That means living here for only about 3 months with a small infant.

Josh and I have been up and down, round and round about all our different options of getting-the-hell-out-of here. We have a plethora of reasons. The bugs. The ice. The crappy way everything in here is laid out and put together. The fact that my car got broken into and everything that I needed for daily chores was stolen from me right outside of our building. The dark, scary parking lot. Creepy neighbors. The list goes on and on...and on some more.

After so many conversations about this, Josh and I had finally decided that we should just suck it up and last until August. After all, babies don't take up that much room when they're that little, right? Sure, we would have to organize and probably box up a lot of our superfluous stuff to make room for baby necessities but honestly it is not the end of the world to me to not have a dining room table (that we only use to pile crap on anyway) or a dresser full of pretty clothes that I no longer fit into! It will be a little stressful, but we decided we can do it. Our other option includes breaking the lease (by only 3 months or so) and paying the damn apartment complex somewhere around $4,000 plus whatever damages they want to charge us for. Ugh.

As much as I'd like to high-tail it out of here as fast as I can, I just cannot wrap my head around eating a $4,000 fee. Especially since my health insurance deductible is also $4,000. So basically, we are putting ourselves out $8,000 by even thinking of breaking our lease. I thought I was at peace with this decision, I really did. After all, it is so nice to be able to come home into our little bubble of space. Josh and I have been together for so long that we really have our way of living together in a comfortable way. Our place is not extravagent by any means and the complex itself is ghetto to the max. But once we get inside our little apartment with each other and our dog, it does actually feel like home to us. Its cozy, but it works for now. This should be okay.

If only I did not wake up this morning at 6:30 to a neighbor's smoke alarm beeping every 5 seconds because the batteries were dying. I decided I could not sleep through that so I got up and put a load of laundry in our tiny stackable washer and dryer (should be so much fun with tons of baby laundry to do!) and proceeded to listen to my other neighbor hammering the hell out of something. That has been going on for about 30 minutes now. I ask myself everyday if I'll be able to live here with all the noise and an infant who I'm sure I'll struggle to get to sleep at times. But nothing is perfect, I suppose. Maybe by having my baby in a noisy environment, he will learn to be a heavy sleeper no matter what is going on...and that is what we call lookin' on the bright side folks. Now if I can just make it without killing someone until I can have a glass of wine again.

24 Weeks: Viability!

The 24th week of pregnancy has a cult following of mommies-to-be. It is considered the first week that a baby would likely survive if born prematurely. In reality, it is probably only a 50% survival rate at 24 weeks, but that's a whole lot better than nothing! Obviously, I want our little Peanut to keep on cookin' but it does make me breathe a little easier that if he decided to make his entrance early, we might be able to do something for him.

Becoming friends will all these "May mommies" has opened my eyes to so much that I never thought of before. Several of these women delivered previous babies at 23 weeks and doctors would not use any medical means to try to keep them alive. That's another reason 24 weeks is important. Before that, most doctors won't even try to resuscitate or stabilize a preemie. It is heartbreaking to think that your baby might come out alive but not be kept that way because they are not "old enough" yet. I'm just glad that I no longer have to worry about that particular "what if."

In other news, how long have I been complaining about this sinus infection and not doing anything about it? I'm beginning to think it's been several months rather than weeks. I took a turn for the worse over the weekend...my head has been absolutely killing me. It's a deep, throbbing pain behind my eyes, across my forehead and down into my cheek bones. One side of my face is actually pretty swollen and tender to the touch and I'm rocking some awesome black eyes. Tylenol does not even touch the pain...so I need to really stop procrastinating and GO TO THE DOCTOR.

Besides all that mess, I'm feeling pretty good. I have that famous second trimester energy despite a new found case of insomnia. I can not sleep more than 4 hours at a time now. I'll go to bed at midnight and by 5 in the morning, I am wide awake. I guess this is preparation? Peanut is just growing away in there, giving stronger kicks and making me feel like I am running out of lung space quickly.

I went and got measured for a bra finally because none of the ones I own or have bought recently even come close to fitting. At the beginning of this pregnancy I was a solid 32C/34B depending on the bra. Now? 36 flipping D! Seriously?! That's 2 band sizes and 2 cup sizes already. I think I know where all my weight gain is taking place...ugh. The lady at Victoria's Secret told me that they would only get worse so to enjoy the expensive, super supportive bra for now...because I probably won't even fit in this one once the baby is born. Ever heard of the engorgement phase? yeah...not looking forward to that!!!

Please excuse my sickly 24 week photo....I feel like death!!!

24 Week Bump Update:
How far along:  24 weeks!

How big is baby: About a foot long and weighing in at about a pound! Scrawny, but starting to plump up!
Total weight gain: Officially 8 pounds at the doctor on Tuesday. Probably 3 pounds in each of my boobies, seriously. Hmph.
Sleep: Insomnia central here. Despite being exhausted, I'm usually too wired to sleep for extended periods of time.
Best moment of the week: Reaching viability for sure!
Food cravings:  Capri Sun juice pouches. I decided this pregnancy makes me want to eat like a 4 year old.
Food aversions:  Meat. Still...always.
Symptoms:  Headaches. Shortness of breath. Stretching pains. A general feeling of "fullness" that never goes away. Itchy boobs. Leg cramps. Hot flashes.
Movement: A little calmer this week. I think he's getting bigger so he has less room to flail all over the place like he was doing. I still feel him every day at least a couple times. Usually first thing in the morning when I'm just laying in bed waking up and after dinner.
What I’m looking forward to: Getting a pedicure. I tried to paint my toes today and it is not pretty...nor was it easy!
What I miss: Being able to breathe! I get winded so easily because this little guy is cramping my lung space. Only 16 weeks to go...phew!

Being a VIP at the Ob-Gyn

I never thought I would be happy to be a VIP at a place like a gynecologist's office. I am so glad I found this place though. I have literally loved every person I've come into contact with. I think I've been there about 5 times since finding out I was pregnant in September...and in that time, I have apparently become a VIP.

I am sure they treat all their patients this way but seriously, I walk through the door and they greet me by name, get me set up quickly and usually I am in and out in under 15 minutes for these routine appointments. It is awesome! I have never waited more than 5 minutes for an appointment, the nurses are all great at blood draws (which I am very thankful for with my difficult veins) and the doctors are all very conversational about everything.

I had my 24 week appointment today and everything looked great! It was my fastest appointment yet. I checked in and gave a urine sample (I always forget that when my appointments are first thing in the morning, I should not pee when I wake up...because I won't have enough pee to produce a decent sample at my appointment. Oops!)

Then I was weighed, which I was so nervous about! I had not been gaining like they wanted me to for the first 5 months, but given the growth of my bump and my appetite lately, I knew I was in for some gain. I stepped on the scale and saw immediately that I was up 8 pounds now. Phew! Not as much as I was thinking...but not enough to make me feel like a cow either. My doctor actually mentioned that she'd rather I be up like 15 pounds by now but that any gain is good at this point.

They found Peanut's heartbeat quickly with the doppler, chilling on my lower left side like always. It was a nice strong 154 bpm...so pretty average for him. (still so weird to say...him...him...him...) A couple times while they were listening, we heard some big loud thumps. The med student in the room started laughing and said that he was kicking the doppler. So my child is a punk already! Great!

The biggest surprise came when they did the fundal measurement. This is the first time they've done it so I was supposed to be measuring as many centimeters as weeks pregnant (23 weeks = 23 centimeters). When they put the tape on my belly, the doctor told me I was measuring 24.2 centimeters. Eek! That means Peanut is about a week bigger than I thought he would be. I hope he just went through a growth spurt and doesn't turn into a monster baby!

I was given a packet of information on my one hour glucose test which I have to take in the next two weeks. I don't need an appointment and I don't need to fast. I just basically need to show up, drink the sugary glucose drink and then wait an hour. They'll take my blood and see how my body processes the sugar and hopefully I pass. If not, I have to do a three hour test which I hear is much worse!

I always feel so much better after these appointments. I just know I'm doing all I need to do and that Peanut is thriving. I cannot believe that after my next appointment (at 28 weeks), I will begin going every two weeks rather than every four. That makes it so much more real and final. I don't have very much longer to go before little Peanut is in my arms instead of in my belly...and I cannot wait!

The Belly: A Progression (8-23 Weeks)

I was curious to see just how much my body has changed during this process we like to call pregnancy. Looking back at my earliest photos, I was shocked to see how skinny I was! I have always had a skewed body image, but honestly I do not remember being that skinny. With everyone commenting on how I looked "normal" as opposed to thin like the rest of my life for about a year, I had it in my head that I was some chubby girl when this pregnancy began. True, I was above my ideal weight, but I looked GOOD and I know I'll be hoping to get back to that soon after the baby is born.

In the beginning, I was not so religious about taking my weekly picture, so there are a few gaps (week 10 and 13, I think). What really cracks me up was how hard I was looking for that telltale bump way back at 7 weeks and there was literally nothing there. I look at my bump now and I cannot even fathom my tummy being as flat as it was just 15 short weeks ago.

With no further ado, here's the belly progression:

I got a little more colorful after week 17...and also started showing my face! Shocker! Isn't it funny to see that little pop between flat-tummy week 14 and teeny-bump week 17?

I also like to call this, Christy's day to day hairstyle progression. :)

You can see that week 20 was Christmas and I was clearly bloated from all the food we were eating. But after that, the bump is out and here to stay!!! I guess I was feeling rebellious this week and turned the wrong way, oops!

I cannot wait to see how the second half of this photo experiment turns out. I think I am in the "cute stage" of pregnancy right now, where the bump is nice and round but not big enough to be in my way. We'll see what the next 17 weeks brings for me and my tiny torso.

23 Weeks!

All of a sudden, I feel like I have been pregnant forever. I know that is silly but getting to the twenties was a big deal and now I can see no light at the end of the tunnel. Its crazy how much my frame of mind keeps changing back and forth. One big surprise I got this week was learning that I am SIX MONTHS PREGNANT. Uhm, what? I thought for sure I had a ways to go but according to this website (http://www.baby2see.com/pregnancylength.html), I am in the midst of my 6th month already. Whoa.

I've been getting more and more stranger comments. People are just downright gutsy. I've had a few just come out and ask me if it is a boy or a girl. I think (in my own evil way) that it would be hilarious to just act like I did not know what they were talking about. Can you imagine if I just acted appalled and like I was not actually pregnant? Hah! I really want to do it but I'm not brave enough. Call me crazy, but body types are so hard to read that I would never comment on a woman being pregnant unless she was in active labor. I think people just completely lose their filters around pregnant women. I have been pretty shocked by the things complete strangers (or even distant family members of Josh's that I don't know very well) will just blurt out or think is appropriate conversation topics. Here's a few of my favorites:

*How much weight have you gained?
Uhm...excuse me?! When is is EVER okay to ask a woman about her weight gain? Really?!

*Are you going to breastfeed?
Ahem...what I do with my boobs is none of your concern, thank you.


* Will you circumsize your son? (And the various judgy, ridiculously stupid reasons they think I need to know about why I should not sexually mutilate my child. Uhm. Yeah.)
This is one I could really get on a soap box about but really, all I should need to say is that my child's private parts do not concern you in any way...so asking me about it is completely inappropriate. Not to mention, my beliefs are different than yours and I really don't need your laundry list of why circumcision is just wrong. AHHH!

I know it sounds unbelievable but I have literally been confronted about these things multiple times by the most random people. And it is so obnoxious. Another of my biggest pet peeves is when people act like they are the greatest parents in the world/they know everything about parenting because they had their baby last year. Really? I'm glad you're learning what you need to learn and that you like being a parent...but I promise, no two babies are the same and I'm not exactly taking notes on your parenting "skills." Ugh. Hi, pregnancy hormones! Nice to see you.

Here's my bump that everyone likes to comment on nowadays:

A Little blurry, but whatever!

23 Week Bump Update:
How far along:  23 weeks!

How big is baby: Still about the size of a papaya...just mostly getting some chub on those bones finally. I think we're going through a growth spurt because this last week I have been starving for the first time in this pregnancy.
Total weight gain: We'll see on Tuesday, but I'm guessing around 7 pounds. Yay!
Sleep: Still hearing every little thing. Getting comfy is also getting harder. I am definitely relegated to sleeping on my sides now, but my back has started hurting anyway. I may have to cave and start sleeping with a pillow between my knees.
Best moment of the week: The Broncos losing to the Patriots. :) But only because I am mean and they beat my team last week.
Food cravings:  Sour candy still and anything fruity. Orange soda. Rainbow sherbert. Watermelon.
Food aversions:  Coffee (the smell) for sure is the newest and worst. Still really not feeling meat at all. I start eating it and basically have to gag it down.
Symptoms:  Lots of heartburn and acid reflux...yuck! I had my first really gross/embarrassing pregnancy moment this week when I realized I might have a hemorrhoid. AH! I definitely have RLS (restless leg syndrome) anyway but pregnancy is making it so.much.worse. I am driving poor Josh nuts at night because I have to rub my feet together rhythmically forever before my legs stop feeling heavy, sore and weird so I can fall asleep.
Movement: Remember when I couldn't wait to feel one kick per day? This child never stops moving! Seriously, at any time of day if I sit still and pay attention, I can feel him flipping, kicking and squirming around in there. It is the most amazing, surreal thing ever.
Gender:  BOY!!!!
What I’m looking forward to: Week 24...which is the week most doctors consider a pregnancy viable. Basically, if our Peanut was born at week 24, he would have at least a 50 percent chance of survival. With medicine the way it is nowadays, it is probably a pretty good chance. I would definitely like him to keep cooking for awhile longer but it's still good to know.
What I miss: People not believing they can say whatever they want to me. It is honestly obnoxious.

22 Weeks!

Holy CRAP. I feel pregnant. I am totally unable to hide it anymore. It's pretty hilarious. I have noticed lately that my emotions have been a lot more wonky (read: crazy, irrational, slightly psychotic) lately. And we have KICKS! Real, big ones!

I have suddenly developed super sonic hearing which of course leads to more annoyances than normal. I don't know if it is in preperation for baby that I can now hear *everything* or if it is just another fun "pregnancy thing." The other night, we were laying in bed and I could not fall asleep because I swear I heard glass rattling. I kept nudging Josh every two seconds asking him if he was hearing the super-annoying-I'm-going-to-kill-something-noise that I was and he really thought I was crazy. I got up out of bed and I was laughing at myself because I was like a bloodhound on a mission. Want to know what the sound was? A couple glass vases on top of my refrigerator that were humming really softly as the refrigerator was running. I have officially turned into a crazy pregnant lady!

The most exciting thing that happened this week was that Peanut started kicking me, hard. At first it was really down low in an almost embarrassing spot. You can tell by my bump picture this week, that he ran out of room way down low and now he is popping out pretty far. Now the kicks are all over and pretty constant. I usually feel them most late at night and after I eat, so pretty normal even when he was just fluttering in there. (By the way, it is still so surreal to call him a him!)

The other night, Josh and I were watching a movie. One of the main characters in the movie had our baby's potential name. I had to grab Josh's hands and put them on my tummy because Peanut was going nuts in there! It was near constant kicking for a good 20 minutes or so. We think he must like his name. :) Josh's face was priceless. He kept asking me, "is that the baby?!" I know his feeling of disbelief. How can something so tiny make such strong movements?! We were even able to see my tummy jumping a little bit at the strongest kicks. It was a completely crazy amazing moment.

We also finally got out there and made a simple registry of some basic stuff. We had a lot of fun doing it and imagining just what our little man will like and yell at us later in life about. I am in love with cutesy baby stuff with little puppy dogs and Josh is all about making Peanut a jock from birth. Josh was in charge of the scanner gun and I kept hearing beeps behind my back. I had no clue what all he scanned into the registry until we got home. Let me just say, baseball baseball baseball. It was awesome to see Josh get excited about our baby boy though and all the things we need for him. I could not resist leaving the baby store without a few little outfits.

Check out how Peanut is being the center of attention lately:

We are dressed and ready for the Steelers game today against the stinky Broncos! Ewww. My bump barely fits in this jersey anymore...good thing football season is almost over!

22 Week Bump Update:
How far along:  22 weeks!

How big is baby: The size of a papaya right now. About 11.5 inches and probably getting pretty close to a pound! You can tell...I am getting bigger! (And this time it is not a "bathroom baby"...)
Total weight gain: I think I'm probably up another few pounds finally. I have finally gotten a little appetite back and Peanut is definitely growing so I'd guess about 6-7 pounds total?
Sleep: With my bionic hearing, it's been tough lately but I can't complain. When I do sleep, I sleep deeply feel pretty good.
Best moment of the week: Experiencing kicks with Josh!
Food cravings:  Cold hot dogs. I found ones without nitrates. So I heat them up in the microwave and then stick them back in the fridge until they're cold. They just aren't the same hot! I've also been *loving* sour candy. Like nerds...which is very odd for me (usually a chocolate girl)
Food aversions:  Coffee (the smell) is starting to get to me.
Symptoms:  Heartburn...bad. Sometimes I feel it even in my back! Shortness of breath (you can see why, I am running out of lung space), bad round ligament pains lately when I sneeze, cough or move when I'm laying down.
Movement:  Kicks, kicks and more kicks. Baby boy is getting stronger!
Gender:  BOY!!!!
What I’m looking forward to: My next doctor's appointment to see if I've managed to actually put any weight on. I know I need to try to, its just hard to wrap my brain around.
What I miss: Seriously? Being able to shave my legs and put on socks easily. I can manage, but it is getting tougher!

Mommy Friends

Ever since that first plus sign showed up on my first home pregnancy test, I have been spending a fair amount of time over on Thebump.com. It is basically a website for pregnant mommies-to-be to talk and support other pregnant mommies-to-be. There is a lot of information there (like the weekly size updates I share here) and a lot of drama sometimes too. However, the most important thing about that website is the mommy friends I have made.

I was initially shuffled into a "chat room" of sorts for other mommies delivering their babies in May 2012. This group started out huge and was whittled down over time by boredom, ladies just stopped checking in and also a lot of sad cases of losses throughout those first couple months. While I was unsure if it was really "healthy" for me to be witnessing so many tragic losses, I feel like those women got something I never did with my loss. Even though we are all technically internet strangers, we have now spent five months getting to know each other. Those moms that lost their angel babies had hundreds of internet thoughts, prayers and hugs sent their way. They had someone to talk to. They felt the love from people who understood what they were going through. It was actually during those more difficult times that I realized these women who I was "talking to" every day were real women: women who I would be honored to be friends with in real life.

This group has ebbed and flowed and grown pretty close over the last couple months. We post pictures of our growing bumps and our sweet little ultrasounds. We commiserate over the icky parts of pregnancy and laugh about the embarrassing parts. Sometimes, we just talk about nothing. Even though I have never met a single one of these women, I know them and I love them.

The other day, one of the moms on the board suggested creating a Facebook page for all of us to join and be able to be better connected with each other. I know it sounds sketch. These women are technically strangers. But almost all of us agreed to do it. And I am so glad I did. Now, these women are less than strangers...they are Facebook friends. And let's face it, they've become real friends! I am so blessed that I have a hundred and some odd women always rooting for me and telling me they care and sharing ideas with me. I just know once May rolls around, we will all be sharing our birth stories and our baby's first pictures. Who knows? Maybe we will even have a real life reunion.

All I know is that despite all the trouble and drama it can sometimes bring, the internet is truly a remarkable thing. I feel so connected to these women. There are first time mommies like me, mommies with many other kids, mommies of multiples, mommies with multiple losses. And even a couple who are adopting but wanted to share in the whole pre-pregnancy process. I have never really been one to befriend a lot of women in real life...but the internet has bonded this group of us with something we all have in common. And I am so happy it did!

21 Weeks!

Now that I am onto the "2nd hump" of this pregnancy, I kind of find myself not wanting to wish it away or rush it. We only get to hold our babies this close to us for 40 short weeks. The beginning stages of pregnancy are so distracting: between worrying about a potential loss, to making sure everything was developing correctly in there it is almost like you forget that there is a real person growing inside of you. Now that I have made it this far, I find myself feeling so much more attached to this little bump sticking out of my tummy. I still have these daily moments of "oh my gosh, there is a baby in there!"

I have definitely noticed that even when you're pregnant, you can still be very noticeably bloated. Depending on when I go to the bathroom, my baby bump looks much more prominent. Gross, I know! It also makes me chuckle a little that I get all worked up over a bigger bump and then the next day, it is deflated again. Oops! This week, I feel much smaller than I did last week. I woke up one day a few days ago and I swore I did not have a bump anymore! I am going to blame it on the fact that during Christmas week, we were eating a lot of really rich and big meals. Now that those have "passed" I am back to normal. Haha. Okay, enough bathroom talk for today! {I can't wait until the topic of my conversations are my baby's poopy diapers...you know it's going to happen}

Lately, I have just been feeling unattractive. I knew I was going to get "pregnant face" where my cheeks chunk up like a chipmunk. I have always had chubby cheeks, even at my skinniest. I have been using intense amounts of blush and bronzer to sculpt define cheekbones that are covered in pudge. I know I am just being silly, but sometimes I wish I was one of those tiny tiny girls who did not even look pregnant except for the basketball in their belly. Whatever.

Here I am at 21 weeks!

21 Week Bump Update:
How far along:  21 weeks!

How big is baby: According to thebump.com, baby is the size of a banana this week. I think this is the most ridiculous comparison ever seeing as how last week, baby was the size of a cantaloupe. Correct me if I am wrong, but a banana is a LOT smaller than a cantaloupe! Now, the reason for this stupid comparison is that the baby is now measured from head to toe instead of head to rump. So the banana comparison is more about length than weight. Baby should be right around 10.5 inches total now and around 12 oz. (as heavy as a can of Coke!)
Total weight gain: Still resting right around 4-5 pounds. When I look back at my 8 week pictures, I look so TINY compared to now...I cannot believe the difference 5 pounds makes!
Sleep: Still pretty much only getting sleep on my left side. One odd thing I'm doing lately is sleeping with my shirt pulled up over my belly. For some reason, it is much more comfortable to "let the belly breathe!" I don't know why, I think it is a temperature thing...I'm weird!
Best moment of the week: New Years Eve! I am not one to really care about big New Year's parties and drinking, so I was not sad about missing out on that this year. But at midnight, Josh kissed me and whispered in my ear, "we are going to have a son this year." It sounds so cheesy now, but it was honestly a goosebump moment.
Food cravings:  Macaroni and Cheese! The really gooey frozen kind that you microwave. I may or may not have eaten that three times in a week...*blush*
Food aversions:  Mostly it is just the smell of things. My sister made hamhocks and beans the other day which is usually something I love, but I had to run out of the house because the smell was triggering my gag reflex. Something about the smell of meat has gotten to me this whole pregnancy. The sausage smell in Mcdonalds in the morning? The death of me!
Symptoms:  More nausea actually, I think brought on by not eating enough. Only the simplest most basic tastes and textures are working for me. Leg cramps! Especially at night, if I move my feet in bed I get the worst Charlie horses. Heartburn. Metallic taste in the back of my mouth all the time (really really weird) Movement:  We officially have KICKS! I started noticing odd and stronger sensations a couple of days ago. They are really down low...like honestly only a couple inches above my pubic bone. They feel like constant little thumps. I don't know if Peanut is punching or kicking but it is nonstop. I also had a few days where I got the *strangest* feeling of my stomach turning over like it does on a roller coaster and I realized it had to be the baby flipping over. So exciting!!!
Gender:  BOY!!!!
What I’m looking forward to: We still need to do our registry. I can't wait to get my hands on some baby stuff. I'm also looking forward to "nesting" a little and getting a nursery ready.
What I miss: Just one day where I feel great all day! It's never anything huge, but I told Josh the other day that I never expected pregnancy to be this hard! It's exhausting and I have a few moments every day still where I feel so nauseous. And my allergies are so much worse. I just want to feel great for one day!
Next apt:January 17th. I believe we will be talking about a glucose test at that point which I HOPE I pass because if I don't I have to give up my beloved carbs (aka the only thing that doesn't make me nauseous), I am not really nervous, I am not overweight and I have no risk factors of gestational diabetes but still!