At this point, I am *so* over being pregnant. It's not that I want Peanut to come sooner than planned, it's just I've been struggling getting used to all these big changes in my body. Now that my belly is large and in charge (not to mention other random parts of me...like my face!) I am just ready to have my body back. I would do anything for this child and I know it will all be worth it in the end, but I just do not like the way I look right now at all.
After much thought and seeing some pictures of me taken recently, I really think I am going to skip maternity photos. I can look decent in my weekly self portraits but that's because I am in control. I am just so not comfortable in my own skin right now at all. I feel super chubby in my face (maybe due to the adorable double chin I've suddenly developed) and thinking of being in front of the camera for any extended period of time makes me want to cry. I went out with friends last night and they were very picture happy and I was squirming...I hated being forced to smile for pictures when I felt so gross. And, seeing those pictures posted today took a serious hit on my self esteem.
I know I am being silly and will probably get yelled at for this post, but I just cannot force myself to do a maternity photo shoot. I don't like maternity pictures all that much anyway, and I've taken plenty of pictures to remember my growing belly during this pregnancy. I hope later on down the road, my child won't resent me for not doing a professional session of him in my belly. My fragile self esteem aside, we cannot really afford any extra expenses right now anyway.
*Sigh* Now that I've thrown myself a wicked pity party, here's my 30 week belly:
Bump Update:
How far along: 30 Weeks! 70 days left!
How big is baby: 15.5 - 16.5 inches! I have trouble visualizing that but it seems so big! Baby is probably about 3.5 or 4 lbs right now.
Weight Gain: I was officially up 15 pounds at my 30 week appointment on Thursday.
Sleep: I am thinking this question needs to be deleted soon because it is getting ridiculous. Between the heartburn, leg cramps and heavy belly, sleep is just something I don't enjoy anymore.
Best moment of the week: Seeing some old friends and having them share my excitement about the baby was fun...even if I did feel huge and uncomfortable.
Food cravings: Blue things! I had a crazy week of wanting blue jello and then blue kool aid...guess my body knows it's having a boy!
Food aversions: Still hating pepperoni. Bleh. Anything greasy is making my stomach turn too.
Weight Gain: I was officially up 15 pounds at my 30 week appointment on Thursday.
Sleep: I am thinking this question needs to be deleted soon because it is getting ridiculous. Between the heartburn, leg cramps and heavy belly, sleep is just something I don't enjoy anymore.
Best moment of the week: Seeing some old friends and having them share my excitement about the baby was fun...even if I did feel huge and uncomfortable.
Food cravings: Blue things! I had a crazy week of wanting blue jello and then blue kool aid...guess my body knows it's having a boy!
Food aversions: Still hating pepperoni. Bleh. Anything greasy is making my stomach turn too.
Symptoms: I'm still having lots of Charley horses in my feet and calves. My feet start aching after standing/walking too long (guess that's what 15 extra pounds does!), hip pain and heartburn all the time. Other than that, I feel great!
Movement: I have a strong boy in there! His movements are really starting to make me jump because they are so intense. He is still mostly moving early in the morning and late at night, but I've recently started feeling him throughout the day as well. The first time I felt him kick when I was standing was really strange!
What I’m looking forward to: Josh and I have our tour of the hospital and labor and delivery coming up this weekend. I think it will be nice to actually get a feel for where this baby is going to be born. We can also pre-register so that when I am in labor, I don't have to worry about paperwork!
What I miss: My body. As many problems that I had with it before, it was mine and I was at least semi-comfortable in it. I hate this sudden fear of a camera coming out around me...ugh.
Movement: I have a strong boy in there! His movements are really starting to make me jump because they are so intense. He is still mostly moving early in the morning and late at night, but I've recently started feeling him throughout the day as well. The first time I felt him kick when I was standing was really strange!
What I’m looking forward to: Josh and I have our tour of the hospital and labor and delivery coming up this weekend. I think it will be nice to actually get a feel for where this baby is going to be born. We can also pre-register so that when I am in labor, I don't have to worry about paperwork!
What I miss: My body. As many problems that I had with it before, it was mine and I was at least semi-comfortable in it. I hate this sudden fear of a camera coming out around me...ugh.
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